The Rock Star,His Secret
by Lady Rheea
Summary: Sebastian is a famous, rock, gothic-metal,heavy-metal singer. Ciel is his manager for already 4 years .Ciel cares for Sebastian but he keeps it secret, Sebastian also has a secret, but not a pleasent one, read to find out more.YAOI SebasxCiel,boyxboy
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Everyone! I am back with another story!*throws confetti* I hope you like it and reviews are greatly appreciated!**:)

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or the song in this chapter!(I highly recommend that you listen to the song when you read that part of the chapter,it will give you a better image)**

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><p><strong>The Rock Star-His Secret<strong>

XXX

It was a cloudy autumn day. Ciel was driving along the crowded streets of London. He was really pissed off, because he knew Sebastian had a concert in two hours and being the lazy ass Sebastian always was he probably wasn't even dressed or warmed his voice up.

Ciel had been his manager, nutritionist even housekeeper for already 4 years. Sebastian Michaelis was a very successful and known rock-star, he only trusted Ciel; Ciel organized all of his concerts, fan meetings, photo shoots, charity events, plus he kept accounting of all the money from the concerts so that everyone received their part.

Sebastian was always a pain for Ciel; he had a very troubled life. The rock star liked to party a lot after the shows; he gave a lot of orgy parties with his fans and so called "friends" that in the morning they would simply leave the house without saying" Thank you for the party", or "We had a great time, thanks for inviting us". Sebastian drinked and smoked a lot and not only cigarettes, he always used to smoke at least 1 gram of Canabis. Ciel tried to convince him to quit this stupid thing but it was like flogging a dead horse.

Sebastian always teased and annoyed the hell out of Ciel. Ciel didn't even know why he was still working for Sebastian; perhaps he grew attached to the star.

XXX

Ciel sighed heavily as he parked the car into the garage. One of his three cell phones rang. Ciel took the phone and looked whom it was. It was Undertaker, Sebastian's batterist.

"Yes, Undertaker what is it? answered Ciel.

"You know damn well what it is! We have less than one hour and Sebastian didn't even come to rehearsals, is that dude still alive? Grell called him already four times but his phone is dead!"said Undertaker.

Ciel sighed."Calm down, I am at his place right now, he will come even if I will drag him myself there don't worry Sebastian loves his fans he will never quit, he'll be there as soon as possible, see you there!"replied Ciel.

"Alright but please hurry, bye" with that Undertaker hung up.

Ciel sighed and took out his key to open the door.

"Tck, that idiot, he left the door open, I will not be surprised if someone will rob him."Ciel entered the house and closed the door.

The house was in pure disaster as always. Sebastian's clothes were everywhere. Ciel started to look around the house for Sebastian.

"Sebastian?" he called out but no answer came.

"That idiot must be upstairs."Ciel mumbled to himself as he started to climb the stairs. Ciel blushed and got even angrier when he stepped on a used condom. He threw it away and went to Sebastian's room.

Ciel flew Sebastian's door open and crossed his arms.

"You do know you have to be on stage IN LESS THAN HALF A DAMN HOUR!"said a very pissed off Ciel.

Sebastian was lying on his bed with his legs spread, his head leaning against the headboard and was smoking his cigarette while smirking at Ciel.

"Well, good day to you too Ciel" he replied while smirking smugly at Ciel's face.

"Wipe that stupid smirk off your face and hurry up!" Ciel was getting really angry.

"Ciel, relax the show can't start without me and the fans can wait a little longer too, plus Grell and Lau will open with their instrumental intro which takes some time." replied Sebastian while taking another smoke from his cigarette.

"Sebastian, move or I'll drag you there myself!"

"Fine, fine I'm coming."Sebastian rolled his eyes and put out the cigarette.

XXX

Sebastian and Ciel arrived just in time because Lau and Grell were almost at the end of the intro.

Luckily Sebastian was all dressed up and his make-up was in place so Ciel wouldn't have to also to do that for him.

"Sebastian, it's your turn..Sebastian WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"yelled Ciel as Sebastian sniffed some powder.

"Wooohoooo, alright let's get this show started" Sebastian took his black guitar and went to his place. The lights on the stage were out and Sebastian made his way through the darkness.

Grell was a guitarist and vocalist ,Lau was bass-guitarist, Ran-Mao was playing the key-boards and was also a vocalist and Undertaker was the batterist, Sebastian was the lead singer and guitarist. Millions of fans and cheered when the spotlight hit Sebastian and the other members of the band. Everyone screamed when Sebastian began to sing the first song of the show. ("Nothing Else matters" by Metallica.)

"_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_And nothing else matters…."_

Ciel could swear some fan girls orgasmed at Sebastian's voice. Even he stood there and listened to Sebastian's singing, it was also Ciel's favorite song.

"_I never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_And nothing else matters"_

Grell joined Sebastian with the singing.

"_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_And nothing else matters…"_

Sebastian began to sing powerful.

"_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_And I know…"_

Ciel was really amazed by Sebastian, he was such a pain in the ass, but when he was on stage he was a miracle, Ciel couldn't believe that the bastard could sing this beautiful.

"_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_And nothing else matters…_

_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_And I know."_

Lau and Grell where playing the instrumental part, while Sebastian rested his voice a little.

"_Never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_And nothing else matters"_

"Ciel there are some gentleman waiting to speak to you for 's interview tomorrow and also.."

"SShhhh,I will talk to them ,but just let me listen to this song." replied Ciel, never taking his eyes off Sebastian.

"_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_And nothing else matters…_

_Never cared for what they say_

_Never cared for the games they play _

_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_And I know, yeah"_

The whole concert room was filled with screams and clapping as Sebastian backed away from the microphone and played his guitar solo.

Sebastian had his head thrown back and kneeled on the stage while still playing the guitar; he gave a devilish and sexy smile to the girls in the front row and was happy to see some of them fainting.

Ciel shook his head at that part."He really can't hold it can't he?"

"_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_No nothing else matters…"_

Sebastian sang almost in a whisper and the song faded slowly. All the fans cheered whistled and enchanted Sebastian's name. Ciel himself slowly clapped, he sighed and went to talk to the guys for Sebastian's interview.

"Thank you very much!"He replied and nodded to the others to start the next song. The whole concert was crazy, there was fog everywhere, a lot of game lights and everyone was sweating.

Fans girls were fainting everywhere and the whole concert hall was jumping in the rhythm of the music.

XXX

The concert ended with a huge cheering, all the members stood and bowed to the public and all the lights went down.

"Oh my Sebby, you blew their minds away!"Said Grell in a dramatic tone.

"Great job Sebs!" said Lau while patting his shoulder.

Ciel knocked politely at the backstage door and entered.

"Congratulations on the show, it was very mind-blowing…Sebastian." said Ciel in a shy voice.

Sebastian smirked."Are you showing me some kind of affection, Ciel?"

"You stupid tart, I just said your show was good." Said Ciel while he crossed his arms and glared at Sebastian.

Sebastian took Lau's cigarette and took one smoke of it.

"By the way, as always after a concert there is a party at my house, Lau I trust you bring good girls, condoms and a lot of booze, as for the Cannabis, don't worry I have it." said Sebastian.

"Alright Sebs, I'll see what I can do, see you there." With that Lau and Grell exited the room.

Sebastian smirked at Ciel."Ciel you are also invited…"

"Tck, I have to visit my grandfather and you'd better not have that party, you have to go home and get some rest because you have an interview tomorrow, you will kill yourself with these parties so stop it!"said Ciel.

"And who are you to tell me what to do, are you my mom?" asked Sebastian with a raised brow.

"Worse, I am your God damn assistant, if I come at your house and see that you are throwing that damn orgy-party I swear I will take of your pants off and spank the hell out of you!"replied Ciel.

"Ohhh…Ciel that will make me so horny." said Sebastian while touching his lower parts of the body.

"Gyaaah! You freaking masochist pervert! I'm out of here." without another word Ciel ran to his car and drove away.

Sebastian chuckled darkly and took out a cigarette and began to smoke. He suddenly began to cough really hard. He took a tissue and spit into it. When he looked at the tissue he saw that he coughed blood. Sebastian quickly threw the tissue into the garbage bin and studied his reflection into the mirror with sad eyes.

He shook his head and exited the room and went to his house were the party already started.

XXX

Ciel went and visited his grandfather, Tanaka and was heading towards Sebastian's place. He parked and as soon as he got out of the car he felt the ground vibrating from the pounding music.

"I can't believe this guy!" Ciel hurried to the door and as soon as he opened it he felt his ears were about to explode. The sound of club music was filing the whole house.

Ciel ignored the guys who were screwing into the lobby and entered the living room.

Half-naked girls were everywhere; also a lot of guys whom he didn't know were there. Most of them were jumping and dancing to the rhythm, others were screwing and others were drinking and smoking.

Ciel could barley breathe. The smell of booze, cigars and sweat was everywhere. He spotted Sebastian sitting on a couch with two girls, one was sitting between his legs and the other one was sitting on his lap. Lau was also near him and Ran-Mao was sitting on his lap.

Sebastian sniffed some powder and took a shot of Vodka. He then noticed Ciel sitting in front of him, crossed armed and with a very angry expression on his face."Ciel how nice of you to join us, listen to me, sniff this powder and you will feel as if you are flying for real through the starless sky…"said Sebastian while handing Ciel some of the powder.

"No, thank you, I'd rather stay on earth. What did I tell you! I said no more parties! Hey, you know what, like I'd give a fuck about you, I am even losing my time talking to you, I am going to sleep and I'll talk to you in the morning when you will have a sober mind, Good- night." With that Ciel made his way through all the people.

"God damn it! Will you guys make some space?" Ciel went up the stairs into his room which Sebastian gave him and locked the door.

He changed to his night clothes and snuggled under the warm bed sheets. He thought about Sebastian and that he said that he didn't care about him, that was not true, Ciel cared a lot about Sebastian but he never told him, because he knew what type of a guy Sebastian was, he would be with you just for one good go and then he would move to another.

Ciel could still hear the annoying club music so he took his mp3 and fell asleep while listening to Sebastian's songs.

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><p><strong>Ooo, Sebby has a secret and a very unpleasant much longer does he think he can hide it?How will Ciel react to his secret?<strong>

**So,what do ya think?:)Please review I really want to see what you think.**

**I will update soon!**

**Much love!**

**~T0L  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 2**

**Hey Everyone!First of all thank you for the woderful reviews,story alerts means a lot to me!**

**This is chapter 2,I hope you guys like it!(Warning:contains strong language and adult themes)**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any character in it!**

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><p>The warm sunlight was the first thing that Ciel saw when he opened his eyes. He groaned and stood up while rubbing his eyes lazily. He looked around and thought about what happened last night.<p>

Ciel remembered he came to Sebastian's house and saw the idiot gave another orgy-party and that he was high on something so he refused to talk some sense into him.

It was the same routine as always, Sebastian would give a party, a lot of unknown people and so called "friends" would leave the next day without saying anything.

Ciel sighed and climbed down from the bed to go and prepare some breakfast.

XXX  
>As Ciel went downstairs, he noticed the whole place was looking like a damn pig stile, a lot of empty bottles, used condoms and clothes were everywhere, plus the smell of booze and sweat was roaming all over the house.<p>

Ciel made his way through all the things and went to the kitchen, he looked into the fridge and instead of food; he found what he assumed to be Sebastian's underwear or what was left from it.

Ciel shook his head and closed the fridge. He decided to look for Sebastian, so he went into the living room.

XXX

Sebastian was currently in the living room, lying down on the couch with a bier in his hand and with the cigarette in his mouth.

Ciel sighed „I believe this belongs to you "said Ciel as he threw the underwear into Sebastian's head.

Sebastian smirked."Good morning, Ciel".

'"Yeah,it was good until I came down, God damn it look at this place! It stinks worse than hell! How the hell can you live in this mess? asked Ciel in a disgusted voice.

"Will you please stop shouting at me, my head is about to burst" said Sebastian while he rubbed his temples.

"See, that's what you get if you have this parties!''

"I have to treat my friends kind and if this is what they like, I have nothing against it, plus I had a great time!"said Sebastian while smirking at a very annoyed Ciel.

"Oh yeah, tell me where the hell are your friends now? Why did they live without saying "Good-bye"? I'll tell you why because nobody gives a shit about you, you are good for them as long as you have money and do disgusting parties!" said Ciel.

"Keep you voice down and remember your place Ciel, who the fuck do you think you are to order me around! I do what I WANT!I can very well fire you anytime!"

"Fine! Then why the hell don't you do it! You are blind and stupid! I never lied to you and I always stood by your side! You are an ungrateful bastard! I'm out of here, why don't you call one of your "friends" to take care of you!"with that Ciel turned around to leave.

"Ciel! Ciel stop right…don't" Sebastian didn't manage to finish the sentence because he felt his chest tighten and he began to cough. He held his chest with his hands."_Damn it, it's getting worse and worse.."_ thought Sebastian. He felt the whole room spinning with him. Sebastian fell on his knees and started to cough and spit a lot of blood.

XXX

Ciel turned around and was shocked and scared when he saw Sebastian cough blood. He slowly approached Sebastian, who was trying to calm his lungs.

"Sebastian you really should stop this parties and quit smoking, it's not good for your health, this is not the first time I see you cough blood, it's happened very frequently in the last four months. You are really damaging your health, you should stop." Said Ciel while he kneeled near Sebastian.

Ciel patted him on the back but Sebastian slapped his hand away and got up on unsteady feet.

"My health?Yeah sure, as if anyone would ever give a damn about me. I am fine, stop fussing around."

Ciel looked at Sebastian with sad eyes."You should get dressed and eat something, you have an interview in three hours." said Ciel.

Sebastian nodded weakly and went to the bathroom.

Ciel felt really bad about him now, he approached the bathroom and heard Sebastian vomit.

"_I need to take him to a doctor…he's been very sick lately, he always pukes, coughs and spits blood, he looks weaker than usual, he loses weight far too much, he's hiding something from me, I can tell he's keeping a secret and it's a bad one, I will find out, sooner or later…"_

XXX

Ciel was currently speaking at two of his cell phones at once. Everyone was running up and down backstage for Sebastian's interview.

"No, no I don't care, Mr. Michaelis is getting ready for an interview! I don't care that that fan is going to commit suicide if she doesn't talk to him, excuse me but I have a very busy day, it was a pleasure talking to you. Good day."Ciel hung up and went to see what Sebastian was doing.

"I don't get it, how the hell can you be this calm? Especially when that reporter Claude Faustus and his male-whore assistant Alois Trancy are going to interview you, they are really weird." said Ciel and shivered at the thought of seeing Alois again.

Sebastian smirked at Ciel."Simple, that four-eyed idiot is a very popular reporter and so my popularity will increase very fast and that means more money." said Sebastian.

Sebastian took a cigarette to his mouth and lit it.

"Michaelis, you are not allowed to smoke in here."Sebastian recognized Claude's voice and turned around to face him.

"Oh really? Do I look like I care?"said Sebastian while he blew cigar smoke right into his face, causing Claude to cough.

"You haven't changed a bit Sebastian, you are still the annoying bastard I have ever known."' said Alois.

"Why thank you blondie, you flatter me." smirked Sebastian at Alois's and Claude's disgusted expressions.

"Let's get this over so that everyone is satisfied." suggested Ciel and the four of them went to the interview room.

XXX

Sebastian and Ciel set on a couch in front of Claude and Alois. Cameras were everywhere. One of the cameramen nodded to Claude and the interview started.

", we heard the you are working on a new album? When will it come out and what will be the name of it?" asked Claude.

"Well,my band and I already wrote and recorded 15 songs, the album must have 16 songs, I am still working on the last song and the album will probably have its name on it." replied Sebastian.

"Impressive, may I ask who gives you inspiration?"asked Alois.

Sebastian smirked and looked at Ciel." My beloved manager, Ciel Phantomhive."

One of the cameramen choked on his coke and Ciel was staring at Sebastian with wide eyes.

"_What the hell is he doing?_"thought Ciel.

"HA!I knew it you two are a couple" said Alois cheerfully while clapping his hands.

"Shut up ,Trancy!" said Ciel while clenching his fists in anger.

"Oh, there is no need to be shy Ciel, tell us is he good in bed,does he make you see stars when you orgasm?"asked Alois.

"Trancy ,you are crossing the line and I suggest you shut your whore mouth before I shove my fist up your ass!" said Sebastian.

"Oh, there's no need to hide it Michaelis, everyone knows that the best word to describe you is "pervert"." Said Claude while smirking at Sebastian.

Sebastian smiled a devilish smile."Oh,is that so, well this is the word that describes you the best, Faustus." Said Sebastian while holding up his middle finger to Claude on which he wore a ring that spelled "Cocksucker".

Alois gasped and Ciel barley managed not to explode into laughter at Claude's really pissed off face.

"I think the interview is over, good day!" said Sebastian while smirking at Claude. He took Ciel's arm and exited the room. Immediately the whole room was filled with laughter.

"Boy, Mr. Michaelis sure knows how to shut people's mouths." said a cameraman, receiving a death glare from Claude.

XXX

Ciel was currently in his car with Sebastian. They were both heading to the place where Sebastian was asked to give a special concert.

"I swear I am going to punch Trancy so hard that he will see stars, how dare he talk like that to my Ciel!Stupid piece of shit!" said Sebastian angrily while sniffing some heroin.

"Will you stop sniffing that shit? There's a God damn cop behind us!"said Ciel.

"Like I give a damn! Stop being such a scared pussy." Said Sebastian while opening the window and holding up his middle finger to the cop.

"Jesus Christ, are you stupid?"Ciel pulled Sebastian back and closed the window.

Sebastian snickered."Come on Ciel! You really need to relax, live a little!"

"I refuse to live in jail because of your stupidity." Replied Ciel and focused on the road.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and began to smoke a cigarette.

XXX

Sebastian and Ciel headed backstage to the rest of the band members.

"Sebs! Dude you made it!" said Undertaker while hugging Sebastian.

"Hey,I said I was going to be here, alright, I'm ready. Let's go." All the band members nodded and they went on the stage.

All the fans screamed and cheered when the band made its appearance.

They began to play the instrumental intro. Ran Mao started playing the keyboard, and then the others joined her.

There was no air-condition in the whole place, Sebastian started to sweat very quickly.

He looked into the crowd and noticed that his vision was blurring."_What the fuck is wrong with me_?"Thought Sebastian as his hearing was not normal.

Ciel was currently watching from backstage." What's wrong with Sebastian?"He said.

Sebastian felt his chest tighten; he started to breathe very heavily. He felt as if Undertaker was drumming in his head instead of the drums."_Fuck, this isn't good_!" Sebastian started to cough and felt the whole concert hall was spinning with him and he collapsed on the stage.

**Gaps were heard from the audience and the band stopped playing. Ciel immediately run on the stage and kneeled near Sebastian.**

He turned Sebastian around so he was facing his face and was shocked to see that blood was dribbling fro his nose and mouth." Call an ambulance quickly and stop the cameras!" Yelled Ciel.

Grell and Lau carried Sebastian backstage and two doctors came and placed Sebastian on a target and carried him to the ambulance.

Ciel run after the two men."Please let me go with him!"

"Are you one of his relatives?" asked one of the doctors.

"No, I am his manager, but I am the only one he has, please let me come with him!" said Ciel.

The doctors looked at the blue-eyed boy with sad eyes."Fine, but you'd better not stay in our way."

"I won't." replied Ciel while hopping into the ambulance and closing the doors and the ambulance drove away leaving everyone shocked and confused.

XXX

Ciel was waiting in the hallway at the hospital. Sebastian was currently examined by a very good doctor.

Images of Sebastian collapsing to the floor replayed in Ciel's mind."_I hope he is alright_" thought Ciel sadly.

"Are you here for ?"

Ciel jumped at the voice and looked up to see a tall man with a white robe. He had black short hair, green eyes and pair of glasses was resting on the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, I am Ciel Phantomhive, his manager; I am the closest person he has."Replied Ciel while standing up.

"I see, I am the doctor that examined Mr. Michaelis, my name is William T. Spears." replied the doctor.

"Oh, how is he? Did he wake up? What happened? Will he be alright?"Asked Ciel with some hope in his eyes but that immediately disappeared as the doctor spoke.

William looked at Ciel with sad eyes.

"I am sorry to tell you this; Mr. Michaelis has been diagnosed with lung cancer…"

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><p><strong>Poor Sebby,he's sick...*sigh*sorry for the little cliff(if you can call it that way)How is Ciel going to react,we wil see in the next chapter!:D<strong>

**Much love!**

**~T0L**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 3**

**Hey Everyone!**

**First of all HAPPY EASTER! I hope I will have an easter Sebbybunny kyaaaa^_^ ehem,alright enough with the fangirl stuff, this is chapter 4,I hope you guys like it!:)**

**Disclaimer: -_- Yeah,do I really need to say?*sigh***

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><p>XXX<p>

"_Oh, how is he? Did he wake up? What happened? Will he be alright?"Asked Ciel with some hope in his eyes but that immediately disappeared as the doctor spoke._

_William looked at Ciel with sad eyes._

"_I am sorry to tell you this; Mr. Michaelis has been diagnosed with lung cancer…"_

XXX

Ciel's heart stopped in his chest as William spoke the words" lung cancer". He couldn't react; he just stared dumb at the doctor while the last sentence continued to echo in his mind.

Ciel opened his mouth in an attempt to say something but he just shut and opened his mouth like a fish.

William sighed and patted the boy on the shoulder."I am truly sorry Mr. Phantomhive."

"Is-is-is there any treatment, can he be cured? There must be some way! PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS A WAY HE COULD SURVIVE!" said Ciel desperately while shaking the man's arm.

"I don't know it depends on how strong his body is, there is a treatment, but it will cost Mr. Michaelis a fortune." the doctor replied.

"I will pay! I will pay for whatever he needs just make him well!"Please! He can't die!" said Ciel.

"There is another patient waiting for me, we will discuss tomorrow, you can go and visit him now, he is still asleep let's just hope he will wake up, that's the first step, you can stay near him as long as you like."

"Thank you, doctor" Ciel headed to Sebastian's board.

Ciel slowly opened and slid inside, closing the door carefully. When Ciel turned to face Sebastian, tears began dribble down his pale cheek.

Sebastian was lying asleep on a bed. A lot of perfusions were attached to him together with a breathing device which helped him breathe. Ciel sat on the chair next to Sebastian's bed.

Ciel's mind was filled with thoughts and questions. He wished he could do something for Sebastian to feel better but there was nothing he could do at the moment. He stood and studied the monitor which was showing Sebastian's heartbeat.

Ciel placed his head in his hands and waited for Sebastian to wake up…

XXX

Four days went by since the day Sebastian was hospitalized and he made no progress. He was as good as a vegetable; the only things that kept him alive were the breathing devices. The band continued their concerts without Sebastian. No one ever came to visit him.

Ciel was the only person that never left his side. He stood day and night near Sebastian and hoped for him to wake up, even the doctor said he should quit, but Ciel knew Sebastian was a fighter, he wouldn't quit so easy.

Ciel almost jumped from his seat as one of his cell-phones rang.

"Yes, Tanaka what is it?"He answered.

"Ciel! I am so glad to hear your voice, tell me dear how is he?Is he better?" asked Tanaka in a concerned voice.

"No grandpa, four days already passed and he didn't wake up."Ciel replied.

"'But you Ciel? How are you? You sound really tired, you probably didn't close one eye for days, and you should rest."Tanaka said.

"No, I am not sleeping or leaving until he wakes up! He will wake up I am sure!" said Ciel.

"I don't want to argue with you Ciel but listen to me, you should at least sleep a little, you are going to get yourself in the hospital too, take care, okay?"

"Yes grandpa I will, bye." With that Ciel closed his cell phone.

He looked at Sebastian and sighed deeply. He felt his eyes close and fell asleep in two minutes.

XXX  
>Sebastian began to move his body and slowly opened his eyes. He felt really dizzy. He blinked several times to adjust the whiteness of the room.<p>

He looked around him and noticed Ciel, who was currently sleeping peacefully on a chair near his bed.

Sebastian suddenly remembered what happened and guessed that he was in a hospital now.

He opened his mouth to say something to Ciel but he began to cough really hard.

Ciel's eyes shot open and looked at Sebastian who was coughing.

"Sebastian!" Ciel threw himself and hugged the man tight.

"Sebastian you stupid moron, you scared me so much! How dare you! How dare you lie to me like that Sebastian! The doctor told me you had cancer already for two years! How could you lie to me like that!TO ME? I am your manager and the closest person you have! You stupid bastard!"

Ciel raised his hand and the sound of slapping echoed the room.

Sebastian's cheek quickly reddened and he looked with sad eyes at the boy.

"Tck, and if I told you what would you have done? I know damn well how sick I am and I know that I will die, and if I would have told this secret, everything would have been a stupid drama show. That's why I never told anyone, especially to you, I always wanted to look like a fighter to you, but my body betrayed me and as of anyone would give a damn about me, none will miss me, they will just miss the money and the fun they had with the big rock star…" said Sebastian while looking away from Ciel's eyes.

Ciel felt very bad that he slapped Sebastian."You are a fighter, Sebastian and you can prove that by treating your illness, and that's not true I care about you! I always did! But you always used to take me for a fool, always saying that I was showing you my weak side, well who is the weak one now?" Ciel said while crossing his arms.

"It's useless Ciel, I don't even have the money for the treatment, plus that means quitting my music and staying in bed, I can't live without my music and neither without the cigarettes, my heroin and sex …"said Sebastian.

"You stupid pole, you don't have to quit your music, you can write songs ,only you will have to quit giving those God damn parties, the booze and the cigarettes and as for the money ,don't worry I already paid for your whole treatment, the doctor says it depends on you, there is a possibility you can be cured." Replied Ciel.

Sebastian's eyes widened at the boys words."_He paid for my treatment, he paid for me? _

"You did this for me?" asked Sebastian.

"Of course I did it for you damn it! I told you I care about you, listen I will go to speak to your doctor and tell him that you are awake so that you can start your treatment, I will be right back!" said Ciel while heading to the door.

"Ciel?"

Ciel stopped and turned to face Sebastian.

"Yes, Sebastian?"

"I…w-well…thank you…" said Sebastian while looking into Ciel's deep blue eyes.

Ciel blinked a few times. For the first time in four years of working with Sebastian, the rock star thanked him.

Ciel smiled"You're welcome." He exited the room and went to search for William.

Sebastian smiled softly and leaned into his pillow.

"_Feeling that someone cares about you, feeling that you are not alone, it feels…nice_". Sebastian slowly closed his eyes and waited for the doctor to come.

XXX

Two weeks passed and Sebastian started chemotherapy. He would have a session and after that Ciel would always come with some books and all sorts of things and he would usually stay with Sebastian until the man fell asleep.

Sebastian did some progress with the treatment, the cancerous cells slowly began to disappear but the side effects were very serious.

Sebastian was very weak and pale, he also vomited a lot. Sebastian didn't smoke and hadn't had sex in two weeks. He felt he was going to die, boy Ciel sure knew how to torture him.

Each night Ciel used to read him a story, Sebastian always smiled and watched the boy with fascination as Ciel changed his voice for each character, he was absolutely adorable, Sebastian was sure Ciel would make a good actor.

Ciel finished reading the book. ''By the way Sebastian, the doctor has good news, in three weeks you will be out of hospital but you will still continue your treatment, I talked to my grandfather, he has a home in the mountains, it's in a small peaceful village away from the city, it's like a vacation, you will be able to relax and you can also work on your last song, what do you say? Do you want to come with me and my grandfather?"

"Is you grandfather alright with this, look Ciel, I appreciate but I don't want to step on anybody's toes." Sebastian replied.

"It's alright, there's no problem, and I'll do anything for you to get healthy." Ciel said with a warm smile.

"You should probably rest Ciel, you did so much for me, and you look really tired." Sebastian said while stroking Ciel's cheek.

"It's okay, I 'm fine oh and by the way I-"

Ciel didn't get to finish the sentence because he felt Sebastian's warm lips pressed on his. Ciel's eyes widened as Sebastian broke the kiss and hugged him tightly.

"You were right Ciel, you are the only one who really cares about me,I am sorry I never realized how much you cared for me before."

"Hey, better late than never…"Ciel returned the hug.

Sebastian began to cough so Ciel let him lay on the bed.  
>'"Alright, you get some rest and I'll see you in the morning, good-night Sebastian and sweet dreams."<p>

"Good-night, Ciel…"

Ciel dressed himself and left the room.

XXX

Sebastian turned off the bed lamp, closed his eyes and began to wonder in his thoughts.

"_Why is he so kind with me? After all I have done to him? Ciel loves me…but do I love him? I never loved anyone before, I only had sex for needs, I don't even know what love is, I am a rock star who doesn't love, but now, did this little boy win my heart?"_

XXX

Ciel was sitting in the lobby on the sofa. He was waiting for the doctor to come with his latest report.

He touched his lips with his fingers and remembered how soft Sebastian's lips were. He knew he had just been kissed by a guy but he didn't care as long as it was Sebastian the one.

William entered the lobby and Ciel stood up.

"I studied Mr. Michaelis's lungs; yes indeed he is somehow better but..."

"Tell me the truth doctor, please."

"His cancerous cells have affected a large part of his lung, with all the chemotherapy and all the treatment he can't be saved, if he follows the treatment and doesn't smoke he will perhaps extend his life a little." William sighed and left the lobby.

Ciel took his bag and went outside the hospital. It was raining very badly but Ciel didn't care, the thought of Sebastian and at the doctor's words.

"_If_ _only I would have taken him sooner to the doctor, Sebastian can't die!What am I going to do?_"

Ciel felt his heart shatter to pieces as he began to walk home, his tears concealed by the rain.

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><p><strong>*Sniff* gee poor Sebby *sigh* I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and I promise to update ASAP!<strong>

**Happy Easter once again!**

**~T0L**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 4**

**Hey Everyone!**

**This is chapter 4! Gee,I've been awfully sick too with my lungs so I hope this chapter turned out good , I don't know but when I am sick I feel like I'm dying but I still want to write! I can't live without writing!**

**Thank you everyone who is reading this story and also thank you for your reviews! They make my heart grow!**

**Sebastian: What heart?You have no heart! You killed bocchan in your'The Little Pianist' fanfic and know look what you are doing to me! T_T**

**T0L: Oh, Sebby come on, you know I love you!*tighthug*^_^you are my favorite man in this world and belive me, I'm sick too, so I feel your pain.**

**Ciel:Get off my butler,NOW-_-**

**T0L:Oooooh,someones jealous!*snickers* **

**Ciel:I'm not jealous,he's MY butler so get off him!**

**Sebastian:Oh,young master!^_^ I always knew you cared about me!* kisses Ciel's nose***

**T0L:*Fan girl squeak* Aren't you two a cute couple!**

**Ciel:*blushes* SHUT UP!x(**

**T0L:FINE!x( *mumbles* Sebastian tell the readers...**

**Sebastian:*clears throat* Tears0fLove doesn't own Kuroshitsuji or any characters from it..(thank goodness,or else every character would probably end up dead_)**

**T0L:Thank you... SEBBY! -_- *glares***

**Sebastian:^_^**

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><p>XXX<p>

Sebastian was currently lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He hadn't slept well all night, he had enormous chest pains and the doctors refused to give him morphine because they knew he would eventually become addicted to it.

Sebastian placed his hands behind his nuke and glanced at the clock on his nightstand."8:13 am, Ciel said he would come and pick me up at 8:30 …"'Ciel, his young manager, Sebastian thought all night of Ciel and about all that the boy did for him. Sebastian always wondered why the hell he cared so much about him. He was the only one that helped him in hard times.

"_I guess I should have been nicer to him, I was so damn blind for not to see that he cared about me, I will repay him somehow, I have to think of something, gaaaaaaah! I can't think if I don't smoke a God damn cigarette_!" Sebastian thought angrily**.**

The door suddenly opened and a nurse entered the room." Good morning , my name is Maylene ,doctor Spears is with another patient so he asked me to give you your medicines." Said the blushing nurse while looking at the floor.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "_Great, another fangirl, hold on! Bingo! I know from where I could get cigarettes_." Thought Sebastian while smiling devilishly at the nurse.

"Is that so ,well come closer then…" Sebastian gave the nurse a sexy look and steeled himself better on the pillow.

Maylene blushed even redder and went to the nightstand to pour some water. Sebastian eyed her."_Hmmmm, she doesn't look bad at all except for those stupid round glasses she might be good for a go."_

"Here, your-aaaaaghhh!" The nurse tripped over the bed sheet which was hanging down from bed causing Maylene to spill the water all over Sebastian's shirt.

Sebastian stared at his shirt and sighed. Maylene kneeled in front of him and tried to dry his shirt.'Oh, I am so sorry for being so clumsy, it's because of my broken glasses I am so sorry Mr. Michaelis , how could I make it up to you?" Asked the blushing nurse.

"_This is to easy_…" Sebastian smirked and took the nurses chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes."Well listen here to me, I need you to go to the nearest store and go and buy me any pack of cigarettes, don't worry about the money, I'll give it back to you as soon as you return, can you do that for me?' Asked Sebastian with a charming smile present on his soft lips.

Maylene was blushing even a deeper shade of red; she looked as if Sebastian cast a spell on her but as soon as she realized what disease he had she stood up and shook her head.

"I am sorry , I am afraid I can't grant you that wish, you have lung cancer, you are here because of the cigarettes and of what else you've been smoking, it's our job to help you get healthy."

"Oh, come on, one cigarette will do no harm, just one! Please!" Said Sebastian.

"I am sorry, as much as I admire and idolize you for your singing I am very disappointed of what paths you've chosen, your medicine is on the nightstand, you'd better take it, it's for your own good Mr. Michaelis." With that the nurse turned around and headed for the door.

"Wait! Hey stop!" Sebastian's eyes landed on the nurse's perfect butt. The way she was moving her hips and that tight skirt just framed her shapes perfectly.

"_Shit! Calm down Sebastian_" Sebastian took the bed sheets and wrapped them around his waist to hide the erection which was growing.

"Are you alright?'" Asked Maylene in a worried voice.'"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me" Maylene nodded and closed the door.

Sebastian sighed and threw the bed sheets on the floor. He looked at his erection and looked uncomfortable around the room. "_God damn it! I haven't had sex in 3 weeks, I am going to die if I don't release soon."_

Sebastian spotted the bathroom and went to get rid of his problem. He stood up on unsteady legs, well that was a bad idea, Sebastian lost balance and collapsed on the floor.

"FUCK!" yelled Sebastian.

Sebastian tried to get up but realized it was useless, his body wouldn't move. Sebastian growled and started to swear every single thing in that room.

XXX

Ciel was heading to Sebastian's room, today it was the day Sebastian could leave to hospital and come and live with Ciel.

As Ciel approached the room he heard muffled swearing and things cracking. Ciel sighed, yes this was definitely Sebastian.

He opened the door and saw Sebastian on the floor.

"What the hell happened in here?" Asked Ciel while approaching Sebastian.

Sebastian's eyes widened as Ciel kneeled near him." _Oh hell, this isn't good_."

"Well,I wanted to go to the bathroom to solve a problem but I am too weak to move." Replied Sebastian.

"Oh, you need to use the bathroom, well that's an emergency, here I'll help you get up."

Sebastian chuckled, Ciel was really naïve sometimes.

Ciel helped Sebastian to the bathroom and went to pack Sebastian's things.

XXX

The two men exited the hospital, Ciel helped Sebastian get into the car and closed the trunk and sat in the driver's seat.

"I've already been to your house and packed the things you said you needed, it's going to be a long road, I suggest you relax."

"Sure, give me a cigarette."Said Sebastian while smirking.

"The hell I will! Stop it with those damn cigarettes, you waist your money on those and what to get in change happiness! Hell no, you get lung cancer!

Sebastian glared at Ciel and turned on the radio.

Ciel started the car and they drove off. The highway was very free.

XXX

After 5 hours of driving Ciel noticed that they were nearing the village. Sebastian suddenly began to sing.

"_It's remarkable he still has this beautiful voice after all he's been through, he sounds amazing, I feel like I'm falling under a spell_." Thought Ciel while looking at Sebastian. Despite the fact that he had dark circles around the eyes and that he looked weaker than usual, Sebastian was still handsome.

Ciel kept looking from the corner of his eye at Sebastian. The raven-haired man lay relaxed while the wind was blowing though his black locks, his eyes were shut and he kept singing. Ciel's eyes focused on Sebastian's lips, he knew he felt something for Sebastian but he always considered it was just a crush but now, he knew that it was more than that.

Ciel shook his head and focused on the road. He noticed that he was running out of gas, luckily there was a gas station nearby, Ciel pulled the car and went to fill up the tank.

"Sebastian, I am going inside to pay and buy some things, I'll be right back." Said Ciel as he went near Sebastian's window but he noticed Sebastian was in his music world and that he didn't pay attention to him.

Ciel sighed and walked into the station.

XXX

Ciel went at the cash register and paid the money." Ummm, excuse me sir, I was wondering if you could use a waiter for the restaurant back there, I can do anything you want, I can clean the tables, I can wait a table, I really need some money." Ciel needed a job now that Sebastian wasn't giving concerts anymore he needed money for Sebastian's treatment.

The man smiled down at Ciel "Sure, I could hire you, but if you want more money you will have to do more things, that depends on how you work, if you work a lot than you'll get more money, does it sound good to you?" Asked the man.

"Sure, it sounds great, I am a hard worker" Replied Ciel.

"Alright than, leave me your phone number and I'll contact you in two days and you can start then."

"Thank you so much, here this is my number." Ciel handed the man one of his call cards.

The man studied the card. "Ciel Phantomhive, hold on. Oi! Aren't ya Sebastian Michaelis's manager?"

"Ummm, yeah well I am." Replied Ciel while looking away.

"Well what the hell are you doing here wanting this job? Did he fire you?" Asked the man.

"No, he didn't and that is my business if I want another job" Replied Ciel angrily.

"Okay, no need to get angry I was just asking, by the way I love Sebastian's music, heck that dude is awesome, I like the fact that he doesn't give an ass rat what the newspapers and the press think about him and that he does everything he wants, I love that man! He's my idol, could you get me his autograph, and if you get me that I'll give you even more money."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do, I'll wait for you call then,good day." Ciel turned around to leave.

As soon as he looked outside to his car he felt anger rise in his veins.

XXX

Sebastian was currently outside his car talking to some gothic guys and all of them were smoking.

"Man, Michaelis! We love you so much!", "Yeah you are the best fucking thing in this world, your voice is incredible and you are so hot!" Said one of the girls.

Sebastian smirked and smoked from a cigarette.

Ciel cleared his throat loudly while crossing his arms. All eyes turned to him.

Sebastian grinned and blew smoke into Ciel's face." Look, Ciel what nice fans I have, they love me so much, by the way guys this is my manager, Ciel, isn't he adorable?" chuckled Sebastian.

"Are you stupid?" spat Ciel angrily causing Sebastian to raise a brow.

''Sorry?"

"Yeah you hear me, are you stupid? Because that's what I think you are! You are under treatment you stupid pole! Put that damn cigarette down right NOW!"

"Oh give me a break will you? I didn't smoke one cigarette in 3 weeks; come on ,one will harm nobody! Plus I have to keep my mouth busy with something." Replied Sebastian angrily.

"Well then keep it busy with THIS!" spat Ciel back while grabbing Sebastian's jacket and slamming their lips together. Sebastian's eyes widened at the sudden contact but then relaxed.

One of the girls fainted at the scene while the other guys backed away. Ciel broke the kiss and slapped Sebastian hard."Get in the car now or I'll push you myself in it."

Sebastian stared at Ciel but got in the car. Ciel sighed and got into the car and drove off.

XXX

There was an awkward silence between the two men. Ciel focused on the road while Sebastian stared at Ciel.

Ciel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Will you stop staring at me?''

Sebastian chuckled."My, my Ciel, you have such soft and sweet lips, you really surprised me with that kiss, in a good way of course."

"Tck, I just did it for you to stop smoking that stupid cigarette, I only care for you as a manager keep that in mind." Said Ciel coldy.

"Mhmmm, so why do I see that blush creeping onto your face." Sebastian smirked.

"_Gaaaaaaaah! Stupid asshole_!" Ciel's grip on the steering wheel tightened. He then noticed that they arrived the house.

Ciel stopped the car and went to announce Tanaka that they arrived.

Sebastian got out of the car and looked at the house. It wasn't a very big one, it had one floor and an attic, the design was very simple but it looked very welcoming.

Ciel came back with Tanaka. "Sebastian, this is my grandfather Tanaka, grandpa, this is Sebastian."

"Welcome, Sebastian, I finally get to meet you, my grandson told me lots about you." Said Tanaka with a welcoming smile.

"Thank you for letting me stay here, I hope I won't be a pain." Sebastian replied while shaking the old man's hand.

"Well then let's go inside." Ciel took the luggage and showed Sebastian around the house.

XXX

They went upstairs and Ciel opened a door for Sebastian.

" This will be your room, I hope you like it, my room is right next to yours so if you need anything you can come in, Tanaka's room is downstairs, we have two bathrooms,one is here and the other one is downstairs, you should probably rest, you had a very busy day, I'll come back later to give you your medicines." Said Ciel.

Sebastian smiled and grabbed Ciel by the chin and gave him a light kiss. "Thank you, Ciel".

Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes and turned around to leave mumbling something like "idiot" and slammed the door behind him.

XXX

After Ciel slammed the door,Sebastian laughed but his laugh was replaced with a heavy cough. He began to cough blood again. Sebastian whipped the blood with his sleeve. He sighed and lay on the bed.

He tried to undress but a sudden pain shot in his chest. Sebastian grabbed his chest and hissed while fumbling in his jacket; he took out a syringe with morphine and injected the liquid into his vein. He then threw the syringe under his bed and lay down.

The morphine started to make its effect, Sebastian's eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep thinking of Ciel.

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><p><strong>Yep so this was chapter 4! I hope you enjoyed reading it! Reviews are greatly apreciated! I will update as soon as possible!:)<strong>

**~T0L**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Rock Star- His Secret**

**Chapter 5 **

**I am back with chapter 5!8D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kurohshitsuji or any of it's characters, plus the song used in this chapter( It's my Life by BonJovi).**

* * *

><p>XXX<p>

Sebastian woke up with a terrible headache. He groaned and stood up; when he looked around the room he remembered that he was at Ciel's house. He left his room and wondered around the house looking for Ciel.

Sebastian felt a tasty flavor coming from the kitchen as he went downstairs. He went to the kitchen and saw Tanaka cooking. The old man heard footsteps and turned around to face Sebastian with a warm smile.

"Well, you finally decided to wake up, come in, I thought you might be hungry."Sebastian nodded and sat down at the table.

"How long did I sleep?" Asked Sebastian.

"Three days already, Ciel told me about your illness so we decided to let you rest as much as possible." Tanaka smiled and set Sebastian a plate with a rich breakfast.

"Thank you, you are too kind to me…"

Tanaka chuckled "There is no problem, my grandson cares a lot about you and you are lucky to have him as your manager."

"Speaking of Ciel, where is he?" Asked Sebastian while eating.

"He is currently working at the gas station; he will be back in the afternoon." Replied the old man.

"I see, well I will go then and work on my music."

"Of course, but don't work yourself to hard, why don't you seat here, because I really want to get to know you after all you spent quite some time with Ciel, how did you hire him? What made you choose such a young boy for such a hard job?" Asked Tanaka.

Sebastian smiled at the memory and set his fork down.

"Well, Mr. Tanaka I will tell you..."

~_Flashback~_

"_Oh my God you are amazing! You are my idol, I am so honored to speak to you!Please Mr. Michaelis I am perfect for the job, I HAVE to be your manager, and please you have to hire me!"_

_Sebastian sighed at the woman who was currently kneeling in front of him and begging for the job. Sebastian already had five managers in one year but no one was fit for the job, Sebastian was a very difficult person, three of the managers quit the job because of Sebastian's behavior and two of them got fired by Sebastian because they were good only in bed._

_Sebastian gave the woman a fake smile "Sure, thank you for your little speech, I shall look over your CV and I will contact you if you get the job."_

_The woman smiled "Thank you! I shall wait for you even an eternity if I have to, goodbye Mr. Michaelis." The woman blew him a kiss and waved dramatically._

_As soon as the woman shut the door, Sebastian growled and ripped the paper in his hand." Jesus Christ! Why do I always get stuck with imbeciles or lunatics?I can get a whore any time but what I need now is a God damn manager!" Sebastian sighed and lit a cigarette._

"_NEXT!" yelled Sebastian for the next applicant._

_A young dark-haired boy with big ocean blue eyes stepped in and took a seat._

_They both stared at each other for a couple of minutes. Sebastian chuckled. "Kid, I am sorry but from my point of view you look like you got the wrong place…"_

"_I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I'm afraid I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." The boy replied while smirking smugly at Sebastian's surprised face._

_Sebastian smiled "Well, well big words for such a small boy, tell me, what is your name, brat?"_

"_Ciel Phantomhive, punk." Replied Ciel bitterly._

"_I have to inform you that I am a gothic, rock star, not a punk, you should at least know that if you want to work for me, and as for your insults, you have to try better, you don't get anywhere with your insults, they actually turn me on." Sebastian smirked at the boy's disgusted face._

"_Then I guess you are nothing more than a light switcher if even a kid can turn you on…"_

_Sebastian wanted to say something, but failed, he opened and closed his mouth like a fish while looking at the boy with wide eyes, never once did someone shut his mouth; he blew his cigarette smoke and leaned into the chair while glaring at the boy._

"_May I see your CV?" Ciel nodded and handed Sebastian his CV._

_Sebastian studied the CV. After a few minutes he closed the file and put out his cigarette. He set the papers on the desk and crossed his arms._

"_Why would you want to be my manager?" Asked Sebastian._

"_To be honest I don't give a damn about you, but I need money for my grandfather he is rather sick and I saw that you were not capable to find a good manager, I am still surprised how you still managed to give concerts and interviews, I personally don't want to get involved with you other than business, I can assure you I will be the best manager you can ever have, although I am very young."_

_Sebastian smirked and leaned into Ciel's face. "Well, we will see about the "business relationship" I can assure you that will change" Sebastian winked to Ciel. _

_Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes." Tck, am I hired or not?"_

_Sebastian smiled devilish."You are hired…"_

_~ End Flashback~_

"Although Ciel was very cold to me in the beginning, I knew the moment he told me why he wanted the job that he would be perfect for it, and as a matter of fact he is; he's been my manager for already 4 years." Said Sebastian.

"Indeed, but Ciel cares a lot about you, he is very cold to most of the people, he had a very tough life, ever since his parents died, he wasn't the same happy and warm boy, he grew up to early, he never had a childhood, he was supposed to have friends and have fun, but whenever I wanted to talk to Ciel about these things he would always say that it would be a waste of time." Tanaka sighed.

"It is true, Ciel never relaxes, he always runs up and down the whole time, I wonder how he never gets tired and as for the parents problem I don't know how it is to love and to have good parents."Sebastian looked sadly at his plate.

"Why do you say that, Sebastian?" Asked Tanaka.

'Well, I was the only child my parents had and I never was the perfect child, when I was in high school I loved music and the gothic style and all these dark things, my mother is a doctor and my father is a lawyer, imagine how they reacted when they heard from the principal that their son is smoking, drinking and skipping classes as to get to rehearsals with the band. When they found out about that they told me to quit music, the moment when they told me to quit my music I took my things and left home, music is like air for me, I can't live without it, I moved with my friends and we worked together a lot and became famous with our band. That is my story."

Tanaka smiled sadly and patted Sebastian's back. " Well, although it is not good what you did in high school I can't deny the fact that your music is indeed special, I am not in the "rock", "metal" and all those things but I listened to some of your songs and indeed, there is music and also a message in it, you get to people's hearts with it."

"Thank you, I am glad you are honest, I hate lies." Replied Sebastian.

"You are a really special person Sebastian, I am glad I had the chance to talk to you, face to face."Tanaka smiled.

"Thank you for letting me stay here, and as for Ciel's problem to relax, leave it on me…" Sebastian winked and went to work on his songs.

XXX

Ciel sighed as he parked his car in front of the house. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. Ciel was getting very tired with all the work he was supposed to do, he took the things he bought and with a heavy sigh he climbed the steps.

As soon as Ciel went in the house he heard Sebastian sing and play his acoustic guitar. He went into the living room and was about to say something to Sebastian but Tanaka silenced him. Ciel looked at Tanaka who was smiling and then focused his attention to Sebastian.

"_This ain't a song for the brokenhearted,_

_No silent prayer for faith departed,_

_And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd,_

_You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud..."_

"_It's my life,_

_It's now or never,_

_I ain't gonna live forever,_

_I just wanna live while I'm alive,_

_My heart is like an open highway,_

_Like Frankie said "I did it my way",_

_I just wanna live while I'm alive,_

_Cause it's my life…_"

A string suddenly snapped, causing Sebastian's finger to bleed.

"FUCK! SHIT! DAMN IT!" Sebastian sucked on his finger and placed the guitar down.

Ciel immediately grabbed a cloth with water and kneeled near Sebastian. "You should be more careful, how long have you been playing?" Asked Ciel while cleaning the cut.

"A couple of hours I have to say, I didn't take a break." Replied Sebastian.

"Yeah, that explains a lot, well I am glad to see you are finally awake, how are you feeling?"

"Nothing special." Replied Sebastian.

"I see, well you should take a break now." Ciel wrapped a piece of bandage around Sebastian's finger and went to unpack the things he bought.

"Ciel, how about we go out somewhere?" Asked Sebastian while standing up.

"What? Out of the question, you are too ill, I have too many things to take care of and plus we don'' have where to go."

Sebastian chuckled "Ciel we are surrounded by mountains, surely we can find a grove where we can have a small picnic."

"I suggest you take a break to Ciel , have some fresh air, it will do you good." Said Tanaka while handing Ciel a basket with food.

Ciel looked at his grandfather and then at Sebastian. "Alright, I guess a little break will do no harm."

XXX

"WOOOOOHOOOO!"

Ciel slapped his forehead." _Why the hell did I let him drive!_?"

"Hell yeah!" Sebastian tapped his foot to the beat of the music. Ciel rolled his eyes.

"Could you drive properly, you are going to kill us both." Spat Ciel angrily.

"Oh, come on, where is the fun if you don't drive on high speed." Said Sebastian while opened the window, allowing the wind to blow his hair.

Ciel sighed and thought of Sebastian's illness." _At least he looks better, I hope he will get better, I don't know what I would do if Sebastian were to die, I couldn't live without him, hang on, does this mean I love him,?No, it's just a crush, I can't possibly love him, God, then why did I let him kiss me, why didn't I brake the kiss and smack him across the face? He would never love me back the same way I do anyways…_" though Ciel while looking sadly outside the window.

Sebastian noticed Ciel's sudden change of mood.

"Ciel are you alright?" Sebastian reached his hand to caress Ciel's cheek but Ciel slapped his hand away.

"I'm fine…" Replied Ciel bitterly and ignoring Sebastian's concern.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes and studied Ciel. The boy looked very lost in his thoughts. "_Well, that was kind of rude; I only wanted to know what pains him…"_

Ciel rested his cheek on his hand and closed his eyes in attempt to calm his nerves. Sebastian smiled devilish and took the opportunity to startle him. Sebastian accelerated the gas pedal which caused Ciel to jump and lean farther into his chair and to tighten his seatbelt." Jesus Christ, don't you have better things to do?" Ciel shot Sebastian daggers which only caused Sebastian to snicker.

Ciel shook his head and pouted while looking back outside the window.

Sebastian noticed a path leading to a forest. "I guess we can go that way…" Ciel nodded and Sebastian stopped the car. Sebastian fetched the basket and locked the car.

Both men started to walk down the path. It was a very beautiful gold-autumn day. The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze of wind. The big leave-covered branches cast a large shadow over the road.

Sebastian was looking from the corner of his eye to Ciel. The boy walked with his head down, he was very lost in his thoughts. Sebastian's eyes landed on Ciel's pale and pouted lips, they looked so adorable, Sebastian felt the urge to capture them in a heated kiss. Sebastian suddenly tripped on a rock.

"Well, that's what you get if you stare at people for more than 5 minutes." Ciel stood cross armed and continued walking. Sebastian smiled and quickened his pace.

They soon arrived a clearing. "Let's seat here, I don't want for you to get tired.'" Said Ciel while setting the blanket on the grass.

Sebastian unpacked the food Tanaka prepared and they both enjoyed the meal in silence.

After eating, Ciel lay down and closed his eyes; he sighed and started to relax while listening to the murmur of the brook nearby.

A shadow suddenly loomed over Ciel's face, causing him to open his eyes. Sebastian was leaning and smiling into his face.

Ciel shot Sebastian a glare. "You are blocking the sunlight, it was keeping me warm."

Sebastian chuckled." Sorry, but you look so cute when you sleep, just like a little kitten."

Ciel's eye twitched." I hate cats…plus I am very allergic to them, so don't you co-"

Ciel was silenced by Sebastian's lips. Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes,but he couldn't deny the fact that Sebastian's lips felt really good. Sebastian bit and licked Ciel's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Ciel slowly parted his lips and Sebastian explored his sweet mouth.

Ciel wrapped his arms around the raven haired mans neck. Sebastian growled and pressed their bodies tighter. Ciel moaned in the kiss and moved his lips against Sebastian's. Ciel suddenly realized what was about to happen and quickly sat up and backed away from Sebastian.

"I am sorry, we shouldn't, we are both men and…and..and… …it's better if we'd stop here…" Said Ciel while leaning against a tree. He adjusted his bangs so that they were covering his eyes.

Sebastian stood up and neared Ciel. Ciel felt like just running down the path away from Sebastian's touch.

Sebastian pinned Ciel's wrists above his head with one hand and with the other lifted Ciel's chin so that they both were locking eyes.

" Ciel, I know you have a crush on me, I know that since the last past two years, I know that you want me, so stop with all this dignity and get me, I revealed my secret to you, why don't you do the same?"

Ciel narrowed his eyes.

"Your secret was a very different thing, it was concerning your health, and as for me, tck why should I trust you, and yes I do have a crush but there is nothing more, I know the type of person you are, and don't you dare even think that you've won my heart, because you DIDN'T".

Sebastian smirked devilishly. "Hmmm, let me change your mind."Sebastian leaned and kissed Ciel again. Ciel couldn't do anything but close his eyes and give in the kiss_." Damn it! I don't love him! Why? Why is he doing this to me? God, his lips feel so good… wait..I don't love him!...Oh, who the hell am I kidding! If only he would love me the same way I do..."_

Sebastian hugged the small boy and rested his chin on top of his head. Ciel clutched Sebastian's coat and breathed his scent while closing his eyes.

The wind began to blow harder causing many leaves to fall around the couple. The sky suddenly clouded and it turned very cold. Ciel started to shiver. Sebastian looked up at the sky when it thundered.

"Oh well it looks like its raining." Said Sebastian as raindrops fell on his hand.

"We should get to the car" Suggested Ciel while trying to shield from the rain.

They both packed their things and went back on the long path.

XXX

Ciel was very pissed. The rain got him really wet. "_Jesus Christ! I think even my underwear is wet_!"Thought Ciel as he glared at the sky.

Sebastian chuckled and stopped to take off his coat. Ciel blushed slightly as Sebastian cover him with his coat and carried him bridal style to the car. "Sebastian, you should put the coat on you, you are sick, it's not good for your lungs."

"Don't worry, it's warm rain, it'll do me no harm." Replied Sebastian while smiling down at Ciel. Ciel clutched the coat around him and made a wry face as rain fell onto his face.

Sebastian laughed openly. "You really look like a cute little kitten." Said Sebastian while kissing Ciel's nose.

The finally got to the car and Sebastian drove off to their home.

XXX

As soon as they got home they both went upstairs.

"Ummm, we should change clothes, or else we'll catch a cold and a warm bath would do good." Suggested Ciel.

"I agree, you go first, I'll go and take that stupid medicine.'"Said Sebastian with a sour taste in his mouth.

Ciel nodded and went to the bathroom.

XXX

He sighed as he closed the door. He filled the tub with warm water. Ciel took of his clothes and stepped into the water. He closed his eyes and allowed his body to relax.

Ciel couldn't help but remember the way Sebastian touched him and the way Sebastian's lips felt. He slowly guided his hand to his lips,gently caressing them.

"S-S-Sebastian…nngghh.."" Ciel slowly moaned and moved his hand to his growing erection. He hissed as he squeezed it a little, but he shook his head and left it alone; he didn't have the courage to get rid of the problem.

Ciel was very tired so he closed his eyes. He almost fell asleep but he felt a pair of hands massaging his shoulders. Ciel let a pleased moan escape his mouth. "You are really enjoying this aren't you?"

Ciel jumped causing a lot of water to splash on the floor. He turned around and saw Sebastian wearing nothing but his pants.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? GET THE HELL OUT!" Ciel yelled while blushing furiously.

Sebastian chuckled." The door wasn't locked and you are already in here for half an hour, the water will get cold soon ,so I thought taking a bath together with you."

"Out of the question!" Spat Ciel back while holding his knees up his chest to get some intimacy.

"But I can't bathe in cold water; I will get even worse…." Replied Sebastian looking at Ciel with puppy dog eyes.

Ciel growled and made room for Sebastian. "Fine…"

Sebastian smiled smugly and took off his pants. Ciel blushed even a deeper shade of red and turned to look in another direction.

Sebastian grabbed the soap and began to wash himself. Ciel wasn't looking directly at Sebastian but he still couldn't take his eyes of Sebastian's reflection in the water. The man was drop dead gorgeous.

Ciel almost had a heart attack when Sebastian grabbed his back. "Calm down, I'm only washing your back."

Ciel nodded and let Sebastian wash his back. Ciel held his legs even tighter to his chest because of his still hard member; the last thing he wanted was Sebastian to see him hard.

After washing Ciel's back, Sebastian planted a small kiss on Ciel's soft milk-skin and got up to dry himself.

XXX

After the bath they both set in the dining room. Tanaka was already asleep.

They sat at the fire place. Ciel stood on the couch and looked over some papers concerning Sebastian's concerts and albums, while Sebastian was sitting on the carpet ,composing songs.

Ciel really felt good while listening to Sebastian's guitar but he was so tired and sleepy that he fell asleep in short time.

After half an hour Sebastian noticed Ciel was sleeping. He placed his guitar near the couch and scoped the boy in his arms. He climbed the stairs to his room but as soon as he almost got to the top, his chest tightened and he began to cough.

Sebastian cursed under his breath, not because of his lungs, he was afraid not to drop or wake Ciel up.

He slowly calmed himself and continued to walk to his room.

Luckily the door was open, he entered the room and placed Ciel on the bed and covered him with the blankets. Sebastian closed the door and slid under the blankets too.

Ciel unconsciously snuggled to Sebastian's chest.

Sebastian smiled but the smile suddenly faded as he remembered the doctor's words.

"_Mr. Michaelis, with all the treatment, you have only a few months left, I am sorry…"_

Sebastian sighed and looked at Ciel's sleeping form. He held the boy tight to his chest "_I will miss Ciel so much_…"He kissed the boy's head and closed his eyes drifting to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Awwww, aren't they the cutest couple ever!*fangirl sqeek* <strong>

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I am having a very hard time now, I am really sick plus I am having trouble with school and with my boyfriend*sigh*, I hope it turned out alright!**

**Thank you to those who review! Reviews make my day and also thank you to everyone who is reading this story!:D**

**I will update as soon as possible!:)**

**Much love to all of you!**

**~~T0L**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 6**

**Okay, I am back with chapter 6!Trololol..:))**

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to say?-_-**

* * *

><p>XXX<p>

Ciel sighed as he dropped the laundry basket. He rested his hands on his hips and glared at sun. It was December already, it snowed a lot but the sun was shining. Ciel sighed as he muffled up his scarf and began to hang the clothes on the rope.

Ciel hated doing house chores but he couldn't leave everything to Tanaka.

Ciel finished hanging the clothes and smiled smugly at his perfect work.

Just as he was about to leave, a strong wind blew and devastated Ciel's whole work.

Ciel glared and started to hang the clothes again. He stood there for a few minutes after finishing; too see if there was any wind coming. He rubbed his hands to warm them up and headed to the house.

Again the wind blew and all the clothes flew directly into the dirty snow. Ciel turned around and growled angrily.

"God damn it! Stupid wind! I am not going to pick them up again! I am tired of this stupid work! Hey you know what, fuck you!" Shouted Ciel as he kicked a tree causing the whole snow to fall on him.

Ciel heard a low chuckle while he started to clean the snow off him.

"I am glad you find it amusing, why don't you make yourself useful and get your ass down here to help me!" Ciel turned around to glare at the balcony where Sebastian was watching.

"I am sorry but you look adorable when you are angry, alright I'll come and help you." Sebastian winked at Ciel, causing him to blush.

Sebastian came and helped Ciel gather the clothes and to put them into the washing machine again.

XXX

Sebastian plopped himself on the couch and turned the TV on.

Ciel adjusted his coat and his cap." Sebastian, I'm going to work, I'll see you in the afternoon."

Sebastian waved him and Ciel closed the door.

Sebastian stretched and snapped his fingers."Oh well, time for music, I guess."

XXX

Sebastian tried writing the last song that was supposed to have the same title as the album, but he had no inspiration.

"If only I could smoke one God damn cigarette!" Sebastian ripped the music sheets and rested his head on the soft pillows.

He heard footsteps approach him. Sebastian propped himself on his elbows and looked to see whom it was.

Tanaka entered the living room and smiled to him. "Hello, Sebastian, I trust Ciel already left."

"Yes, he left a few hours ago." Replied Sebastian.

"I'll guess the cake will have to wait until Ciel comes." Tanaka placed a chocolate cake in the fridge.

Sebastian looked at Tanaka with a raised brow." A cake? Why did you buy a cake Tanaka?"

"Today is 14th of December, its Ciel's birthday." Replied the old man.

Sebastian's eyes widened."_ Ciel's birthday? I never really knew when it was, I never actually celebrated his birthday…" _Sebastian rubbed his chin as he thought_._

"You never celebrated it, didn't you?" Tanaka asked him.

"How did you guess?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious since you looked so surprised about it, and you didn't wish him "Happy Birthday"."

"Yes, I admit, I never really knew exactly when it was, I was …occupied with other business so to say…" Replied Sebastian.

"Well, I already bought the cake, I have no idea what present Ciel would like, and he always hated his birthday." Tanaka sat near Sebastian.

"Why does Ciel hate his birthday, what happened?"Asked Sebastian.

"Well, his parents died in a car crash exactly on his birthday, he hated that day ever since, although I tried to make him a pleasant birthday, I never really managed it."

Sebastian studied the old man and suddenly smiled devilishly. "Don't worry Mr. Tanaka, I will make this day one of best he ever had..."

XXX

Ciel yawned slightly as he parked the car. "_Finally, weekend, all I want is to take a shower and to take a nap."_

Ciel locked the car and climbed the steps. He looked for his key but noticed the door was open. As Ciel entered the living room, Tanaka welcomed him with a smile.

"Happy Birthday, Ciel" He hugged his nephew tight.

Ciel looked at the big cake on the table." Oh, grandpa, you didn't have to buy this…"

"It's your birthday, Ciel, that's the least I could do." Replied Tanaka.

"Thank you, where is Sebastian?"

"Last time I saw him he was in the garden." Replied the old man.

"Okay, I'll go find him."

With that Ciel went into the garden. As soon as he stepped outside the house a pair of big warm hands covered his eyes.

"Wha-"Ciel wanted to scream but was silenced by Sebastian's deep and calm voice.

"Sssssh, Ciel, it's me don't worry, listen I want you to keep your eyes closed and promise me that you won't open them until I tell you too, can you do that?"

"Wait, what, where the hell are we going?" Asked Ciel nervously.

"It's a surprise." Sebastian smirked and kissed Ciel's cheek.

Ciel blushed slightly as Sebastian removed his hands from his eyes. Sebastian scoped the boy and carried him to their car.

XXX

Ciel kept his eyes shut. He guessed they were probably heading some place but granted Sebastian's wish not to look.

They traveled a lot, Ciel felt a lot of smoke and noise, and he guessed they were probably near a city.

"Sebastian, you've been driving for at least two hours, where the hell are we going?"

Sebastian chuckled."All in good time, love."

Ciel's heart jumped at that word. "_Wait, what, did he just call me love? Does Sebastian love me? Yeah, sure gosh, how can I be that stupid as to believe so, I know he's only toying with me…_"

Ciel sighed and leaned into his seat."This is really boring…"

"We're almost there." Replied Sebastian.

Sebastian parked the car. "May I open my eyes now?" Asked Ciel angrily.

"Not yet." Sebastian smirked and carried the boy in his arms once again.

They entered a very old building and Sebastian climbed two flights of stairs.

Sebastian set Ciel down and coughed harshly.

"Jesus, are you alright?" Ciel asked wordily.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't fuss around." Sebastian fumbled into his pocket and pulled out a key. He unlocked the door and guided Ciel in.

XXX

"You may open your eyes now." Sebastian closed the door and stood behind Ciel.

Ciel slowly opened his eyes, and let his eyesight adjust the darkness in the room.

It was a very old and gothic room, the walls were painted in a dark bloody red, and the windows were covered by black curtains. Ciel noticed a small stage in the back of the room. Several instruments like a grand black piano, two guitars, one bass-guitar and a drum set were present on the stage.

Ciel looked back at Sebastian with a raised brow. "So, this is the big surprise, a filled with dust and old music room?"

Sebastian neared Ciel." Yes, although it looks like this, this room means a lot to me. You see Ciel; this is the only home I had when I left my parents. They told me to quit my music and to follow the family rules, as you noticed music is one of the best things in my life, so I left home and bought this apartment. Grell, Lau, Undertaker and Ran Mao helped around this place too, this was the place where we used to create music and later we all lived here."

Ciel looked around the place and listened to Sebastian's story.

"Nobody else except for the band knows this place. This is my secret and special place and since you are the closest person to me, I thought I should show it to you."

"Wow, thank you, I honored." Ciel replied.

"Alright make yourself at home, I'll be right back." With that Sebastian ran into the bedroom.

XXX

Ciel walked around the room and tried each instrument. He almost jumped at the sound of the bass guitar. He quickly put it away and wondered around the stage.

He suddenly spotted on the piano, a violin. Ciel neared the piano and took the violin in his hands. He tuned up the chords and tested them, they sounded on tune. He took the bow and began to play a mysterious and beautiful song.

XXX

"Where the hell did I put it?" Sebastian threw and fumbled through all the drawers. "Yes! Here it is fin-"

Sebastian didn't finish the sentence because the sound of the violin caught his attention.

He quickly headed to the main room and his eyes grew wide as he looked at Ciel who was playing the violin.

XXX

The small boy had his eyes closed, a small frown present on his lips, his small fingers running smoothly along the chords of the violin, releasing beautiful notes. The song ended in a high and long note.

Ciel jumped at the sound of clapping, he opened his eyes and saw Sebastian smiling at him. Ciel placed the violin down and hopped off the stage.

"I never knew you could play an instrument, I never thought of you as the musical type actually." Sebastian took a seat on the couch in front of the stage and motioned for Ciel to seat near him.

Ciel sat near Sebastian." My mother used to play violin, she always used to teach me beautiful songs, but when she died, it was like my love for music died along with her. "

"I am sorry to hear that, but you shouldn't think about music like that, because through the violin you can always find your mother and feel her near you, if you quit on the violin, it's the same as if forgetting your mother, you play beautiful Ciel, I might be a rock star, but I recognize good music and a good musician." Sebastian smiled while stroking Ciel's cheek.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with sad eyes. "Thank you, Sebastian."

"Ciel, I want you to have something." Sebastian pulled out a black and gothic necklace. " This was the necklace I always wore when I gave concerts and created music, I always thought he would give me luck and to give me power to start something new, that is why, if I die, I want you to have this, I hope it will help you to stay strong." Sebastian placed the necklace into Ciel's small hand and kissed his fingers.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes. " S-S-S-Sebastian, thank you but, no! NO! You cannot die! No! At least not now! You can't leave me!' Because…"

Sebastian raised a brow."Because…?"

Ciel sighed. "Because… because I..love you.."Ciel hung his head shamefully and clutched the necklace in his hand." _He is probably laughing his ass of right now! How the hell can I be so weak, I look so disgusting!" _Ciel thought shamefully.

Sebastian held Ciel's chin up so they were both locking eyes. Sebastian smiled softly and hugged Ciel tight." I never thought I would finally hear those words coming from your mouth."

Ciel clutched Sebastian's shirt tighter. " You are the most kind person I have ever known Ciel, I was such an ass to you, and I never realized how much you care for me until two months ago, I love you too Ciel, you have won my heart." Sebastian pressed his lips to Ciel's trembling ones.

Ciel felt as if an angel came to earth. His whole body trembled; a blush was present on his face. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and deepened the kiss. Sebastian licked Ciel's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Ciel moaned and Sebastian took the opportunity to explore the boy's sweet cavern.

Although it was pretty cold in the room, Sebastian and Ciel were already panting and sweating. They were both moaning and pressing their bodies together. "Se-Sebastian, I feel so hot, I have no air."

Sebastian growled and quickly undressed himself and Ciel. Sebastian hovered over Ciel and took in the sight.

Ciel was lying on the couch, all sweaty and flushed, his eyes were reflecting happiness and a small smile was present on his beautiful pale lips.

Sebastian felt his erection harden only at the sight. He scoped Ciel and carried him to the bedroom.

He didn't care to shut the door, he threw Ciel on the bed and climbed on top off him and began to plant kisses all over the boy's body, heading lower, lower and lower until he reached Ciel's private part.

Sebastian looked at Ciel's face for a moment and began to suck on the boy's member.

Ciel threw his head back and moaned as Sebastian took him all in his mouth. Ciel's hands tangled in Sebastian's hair as he bucked his hips into his mouth to get more of Sebastian's cavern. Sebastian swirled his tongue around the tip, making Ciel feel as he was about to cum.

Sebastian continued to bob his head up and down Ciel's small length, and just when Ciel was about to cum, Sebastian released the boy's member and blew hot air on the tip of it.

Ciel hissed and groaned as Sebastian teased him. He glared at Sebastian.

"What's wrong?" Asked Sebastian in an innocent voice.

Ciel groaned." You know what I want…"

Sebastian smirked devilishly."What do you want?"

"Will you stop teasing me!" Spat Ciel angrily.

"I won't give it to you, if you don't tell me." Sebastian smirked at the flustered boy.

"I ..want…you…"Replied Ciel grumpily.

Sebastian smiled smugly and kissed Ciel's nose. He held up three digits and motioned for Ciel to suck them. Ciel obliged and sucked on Sebastian's fingers. The sight of Ciel sucking his fingers made Sebastian get even harder, with the other hand Sebastian began to pump his own erection.

Ciel blushed even redder at the sight of Sebastian pleasuring himself. Sebastian pulled the fingers out from Ciel's mouth and lay Ciel down.

Sebastian parted Ciel's legs getting a full view of his private parts.

Ciel suddenly crossed his legs and covered his face with his hands in shame and embarrassment. "Se-Sebastian, I can't, it's too embarrassing…"

"Ciel?" Sebastian tried to pull Ciel's hands away from his eyes.

"Ciel, please look at me…"

Ciel looked between his fingers and suddenly felt safe as he looked into Sebastian's eyes.

"There's no need to be ashamed off, you are beautiful Ciel." Sebastian spoke to him in a soft voice and kissed his forehead.

"This is going to hurt Ciel, relax and it will be better alright?"

Ciel nodded and Sebastian plunged one finger into his hole. Ciel hissed at the sudden pain.

"Relax, Ciel" Instructed Sebastian as he added a second finger and began to scissor him.

"Sebastian! It hurts please take them out! Take…OH GOD! THERE! MORE! MORE!" Ciel's toes curled up in the sheets and moaned louder as Sebastian hit that sweet spot inside him.

Sebastian smiled smugly and added a third digit, making Ciel fell like he was about to burst from the amount of pleasure.

"Hold on Ciel, I have something better for you…" Sebastian pulled out of Ciel and positioned his member at Ciel's entrance and entered him slowly.

Ciel muffled his scream with his hands, Sebastian was quite large, and he felt Sebastian was breaking him.

Sebastian on the other hand, felt amazing; Ciel was so tight and warm, he looked to Ciel and noticed pain present in the boy's eyes. Sebastian kissed Ciel's lips and waited for the boy to adjust his size.

Ciel nodded to Sebastian and Sebastian began to thrust slowly into Ciel. Ciel felt pain at first but the pain slowly began to fade in pleasure as Sebastian began to hit that special spot.

Soon they were both panting and moaning each other's names. Sebastian was slamming hard into Ciel's body. Ciel wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist to get more access.

It was very hot in the room and Sebastian was sweating really hard, he was nearing his release as a throbbing pain shot through his chest and he began to cough. Sebastian ignored the pain and the coughing and kept thrusting into Ciel, but his body suddenly had no energy and he collapsed on top of Ciel.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes.

"S-S-Sebastian…are you alright?"

Sebastian was breathing very heavily and he looked up to Ciel.

"I'm sorry Ciel, I'm sorry I am too weak…" Replied Sebastian while looking at the boy with sad eyes

Ciel kissed Sebastian's forehead and climbed on him."Don't worry; I'll do the rest of the work if you are too tired." Ciel smiled at Sebastian and he slowly began to move up and down Sebastian's member.

Sebastian hissed at the sensation and held Ciel's hips, and slammed him harder onto his length.

Ciel began to ride Sebastian faster and harder while releasing delicious moans.

Ciel soon felt a knot in his stomach and released onto Sebastian's chest with a cry of Sebastian's name.

Sebastian couldn't believe his eyes how sexy Ciel really looked, that was all Sebastian needed, with a low moan, he spilled his seed deep into Ciel.

They both stood motionless for a couple of minutes. Ciel slowly stood up, wincing a little at the sudden loss of being filled and plopped next to Sebastian.

Sebastian turned around to face Ciel and pulled the covers over them.

"Happy Birthday, Ciel." Sebastian smiled and planted a soft kiss onto Ciel's lips.

Ciel smiled and closed his eyes, drifting to sleep.

"_Indeed, this was one happy birthday…"_

* * *

><p><strong>*Squeels* I think I am going to die of cutness..:)) eeeeh see? I can write sweet things too(when I want of course..lmao).OMG, I wrote 4 pages of hard combined with sweet sex?wtf? lolz... I'm such a perv...XD...you should have seen my face when I read the chapter once again...I was blushing like hell, this isn't my first lemon, but I'm still not used to it...XD<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I am still having a shitty time with all my problems but I can't wait to write the next chapter!:) Reviews are greatly appreciated;)**

**Thank you for reading my story! I will update soon!**

**Much love!:)**

**~~T0L**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Rock Star- His Secret**

**Chapter 7**

**Hey Everyone!**

**I had such a stupid week, exams and all that shit, I fainted at school a few days ago..o.O..I went to the doctor and yeah, I am very weak and sick, *sigh* I've got one common thing with Sebastian...lol**

**I hope you enjoy chapter 7 of "The Rock Star-His Secret"**

**Disclaimer:I don't own Kuroshitsuji(..sad T_T)**

* * *

><p>XXX<p>

"Aaaaaghhh, aaghh…S-S-S-Sebastian...I can't...aaagghhh...".Ciel was moaning and panting while Sebastian slammed into him harder.

Sebastian growled and hooked Ciel's legs over his shoulders to get more access.

"You wanted this, Ciel…remember..." Sebastian growled and continued to slam harder.

Ever since Ciel's Birthday, Sebastian and Ciel used to go on weekends to Sebastian's apartment. Ciel insisted that they had sex to Sebastian's place, so that Tanaka wasn't going to hear them.

"S-Sebastian stop! I can't take it!"

"Oh? Your body says the other way around." Sebastian smirked and planted kisses onto Ciel's neck.

Ciel was screaming and moaning, the way Sebastian touched and kissed him, made him feel as if he was about to burst from pleasure. The headboard was slamming against the wall as Sebastian continued to pound into Ciel's small body.

"Sebastian…aaaghh, nghh I think I'm.. AAAGHH!" Ciel's whole body trembled as he released on Sebastian's chest. Sebastian felt Ciel's walls tighten around his member and with a low growl he spilled his seed deep into Ciel.

"S-S-Sebastian, you are heavy…" Said Ciel while trying to regain his breath.

Sebastian groaned and plopped next to Ciel. He wrapped his arms around Ciel.

"I love you" Said Sebastian while pressing his lips to Ciel's. Ciel smiled into the kiss. "I love you too, Sebastian."

Ciel suddenly glanced at the watch and realized how late he was.

"Shit! I am so late! Tanaka must be so worried." Ciel stumbled and ran completely naked across the whole apartment to find his clothes.

"Will you stop staring and help me, God damn it!" Sebastian chuckled as Ciel blushed and tried to hide his private parts.

"I've already seen you naked so many times, what difference does it make now? I love you just the way you are." Sebastian smiled and kissed Ciel's forehead.

Ciel blushed and hugged Sebastian tight.

"I should hurry; I'll be back in five hours." Said Ciel while putting a shirt on him and heading to the door.

"Ciel"

"Yes, Sebastian?"

Sebastian smiled and fixed Ciel's hair so that he wasn't looking as if a cat just jumped on his head.

"By the way Ciel, did I mention that I love your ass?" Sebastian slapped Ciel across the butt.

Ciel yelped and glared at Sebastian while rubbing his ass.

Sebastian winked to him and went back to the bedroom.

"Tck, stupid pervert…" Ciel mumbled and grabbed his coat and went to his car.

XXX

Ciel almost slipped as he went outside. He looked up and noticed it was snowing.

Ciel sighed and hurried to the car.

It was the 24th of December, it was Christmas Eve.

He needed to visit his grandfather and spend a little time with him and then he could enjoy the holyday with his beloved Sebastian.

"_I just hope Sebastian will like the present I got him…_" Thought Ciel as he started the car.

XXX

Sebastian lay on the bed with a music sheet in his hand. He slightly shivered at the cold and zipped up his anorak.

"Hmmm, I should prepare dinner before Ciel comes back…"Sebastian threw the music sheet on the bed and strode off to the dining room.

The room was full Christmas adornments; also a big Christmas tree was in the corner of the dining room.

Sebastian set the table. He prepared an oven roasted turkey, and a delicious Christmas pudding.

Sebastian smirked at the pudding."Oh, I can so torture Ciel as not to give him pudding only if he convinces me too…"

He then went and prepared cinnamon tea with gingerbread. Sebastian stood and admired his work. He inhaled the sweet scent of cinnamon and decided to try to work on the song.

Just as he was about to enter the bedroom, someone knocked at the front door.

Sebastian raised a brow and opened the door…

"Happy Holydays! SEBAS-CHAAAAN!"

Sebastian slapped his forehead. "Oh, it's you…Grell, wait, what the hell are you wearing?"

Grell was dressed in a very short Christmas skirt, a red with white fluffy bra and high healed hooker boots.

"Like what you see, Sebby? Grell winked and pressed his body to Sebastian's.

"You look disgusting, oh come in before some five year old kid sees you and get's marked for the rest of his life." Sebastian shoved Grell inside, and locked the door.

"Alright Grell, what do you want?" Sebastian walked cross armed to the bedroom and plopped on the bed.

Grell looked at him with wide eyes." What? Do you mean by that? Sebby since when are you talking to me like that? I always wanted to see how you are; I haven't spoken to you in months and-"

Grell didn't finish the sentence because he looked around the room and inhaled a scent, the scent of sex.

" Y-Y-You slept with him didn't you?"

Sebastian smirked. "Umm, with whom?"

"Don't fuck with me! You slept with him, that, that, THAT BRAT CIEL!" Grell trembled all and almost spat Ciel's name.

"Are you jealous?" Sebastian smirked and parted his legs to Grell.

Grell looked at him with wide eyes and then crossed his arms.

"Jealous? On that brat?No Sebastian, I am not jealous, I think I pity you two."

Sebastian raised a brow." You pity Ciel and me? Why is that?"

" I could never hate you Sebastian, and although I always had a crush on you since high school, I always knew that you won't be with me ,and now I see that you finally found someone whom you love, you've been with that brat since five months already. But Sebastian, you have lung cancer, you are going to die soon, how do you think Ciel is going to react when you will be dead, do you really think he could move on, you've poisoned the boy's mind with sweet words and sex and know he is madly in love with you, when you will die he will be broken and he is going to suffer a lot, he will even end up committing suicide, all because of you.."

Sebastian clenched his fists in anger. He felt like punching the red- haired man.

"Grell, I suggest you shut your stupid whore mouth before I punch your face."

"Do as you wish Sebastian, but you know I am right, how much longer can you pretend that everything is okay, that everything is a dream. It's not a dream Sebastian, this is real, you will hurt Ciel."

Sebastian trembled and narrowed his eyes at Grell. As much as he hated to admit it, the red haired man was right.

Sebastian felt the whole world was crushing. He stood on the edge of the bed with his head between his hands.

"Well, what the hell can I do?I can't just leave him that will hurt him even more!"Sebastian felt like tearing his hair from his head.

Grell sat next to him on the bed and patted his back. "You don't have to leave him Sebs, you can make him leave."

"What do you mean?"Asked Sebastian confused.

"Well, you can make him hate you, this way he won't feel any pain when you will die."

Sebastian thought and looked at the red haired man with sad eyes. "Do you realize how it will hurt me to do this, right?"

Grell sighed." It's either you or the kid, if you love him, you'll let him go…"

Sebastian placed his head in his hands and sighed heavily.

Grell looked at the clock and stood up." I should probably go, I wish you luck Sebastian, if you need me, you can always call, I will always be there to help you, no matter what."

Sebastian looked up at Grell and let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, I guess so, thank you Grell, you've always been one of my closest friends."

It pained Grell a lot to see his friend like this. He looked one more time at Sebastian and left the apartment.

XXX

Ciel was heading back to Sebastian's place. He sighed as he parked the car.

"Damn, why do these roads have to be so crowded?Jesus…"

He got off and closed the car. Ciel climbed the stairs and entered the apartment.

"Sebastian, I'm home!" Ciel closed the door and dropped his bags. He was surprised that Sebastian didn't come to hug him already.

"Sebastian?" Ciel went to the dining room and smiled as he looked at the Christmas meal that Sebastian prepared.

He quickly left to the hallway and pulled out of his bag a small wrapped up box tied with a red ribbon.

He then noticed the balcony door open. Ciel neared and saw Sebastian leaning against the rail. He looked lost in his thoughts.

Ciel smiled softly and came up slowly with the present behind his back.

"Hey,Sebastian" Ciel pressed his body to Sebastian's.

Sebastian was startled; he flinched and turned around to face Ciel.

Ciel giggled softly."Did I scare you?"

Ciel stood in front of Sebastian, a small smile present on his face, his hands behind his back, clearly hiding something. Did he have to look that lovely? The way the Christmas lights on the balcony reflected on Ciel's face, made him look just like a pure and delicate angel.

"Ciel…" He simply whispered.

Ciel approached him and stood on his toes as to reach Sebastian's lips.

Sebastian pulled away before Ciel was about to kiss him.

That caused Ciel to momentary alarm. He studied Sebastian and he could guess from his body language and from his eyes that something was wrong.

"Sebastian…what's wrong?" Ciel asked in a soft yet worried voice.

"Nothing's wrong, why would you think something is wrong, especially with me? Why does it always have to be me?"" Sebastian spat into Ciel's face and stormed out to the dining room.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide eyes and followed him to the dining room.

Sebastian stood cross armed, his back facing Ciel.

Ciel shivered at the cold from outside so he closed the door.

There was a very awkward silence between them.

Ciel approached Sebastian.

"Sebastian what happened? You are acting very strange."

Sebastian didn't move from his place.

"Sebastian, what's wrong?"

"I TOLD YOU NOTHING'S WRONG DAMMIT! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?" Sebastian growled but didn't turn to face Ciel.

"Alright, then why won't you let me kiss you, or touch you? What happened?" Ciel asked.

"Maybe it's because I've grown tired of you Ciel, haven't you thought of that? Haven't you thought that maybe I've grown bored of you? I must say it took me long to get you into bed, but after listening to Tanaka's story about your parents and taking advantage of your birthday, hitting your weak side,all I needed to do was to poison your mind with love words, a nice little present and that was enough to keep your legs parted on my mattress."

Ciel's eyes widened in horror. "What? No! S-S-Sebastian! I-I-I can't believe what you are saying! I don't know what's come with you that you are acting this way, but I know that you love me!" Tears began to form in the corner of Ciel's eyes.

"_He is so right, I love him with all my heart, I wish so much as to wipe those tears from his eyes, to take him into my arms…"_

"You love me Sebastian, don't you?"

Sebastian closed his eyes.

"Don't you?" Ciel began to tremble.

"_This will be the hardest part ever…" _Thought Sebastian_._

"DAMN IT SEBASTIAN!YOU WILL ANSWER ME ,NOW!" Ciel grabbed Sebastian by the shoulders and turned him around so that Sebastian was facing him.

"L-Love you? Is that what you think Ciel, that I LOVE you?"

To Ciel's horror, Sebastian began to laugh. A deep mocking and full of hate laugh, that sent shivers down Ciel's spine. Ciel released Sebastian and began to back away from him.

"I-I-I can't recognize you! Y-Y-You are not Sebastian! You are not the man that I loved, the man that loved me too…" Ciel trembled.

"Of course I'm not, that man doesn't exist, Ciel, I only pretended to have my way with you, I have to say that I enjoyed every minute of sex I had with you, you should see yourself how you look and how shameful you sound and how you beg for more,when you are fucked by me."

"_Please forgive me Ciel, although I don't deserve it..._" Thought Sebastian.

"STOP IT!" Ciel yelled while covering his ears with his small hands. He dropped on his knees; tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"_God, it hurts to see him cry like this…I rather die than see him cry…"_

"Y-Y-You are lying to me! You are lying, I know you love me, I've seen it, I can't believe this was all a joke!" Ciel chocked on his words.

"_Hate me Ciel, please let me die and leave this place, go and live a beautiful life, don't ever look back…" _Never in his life did Sebastian feel his heart so heavy.

"_I will end this, I will end your suffer Ciel…" _Thought Sebastian.

He suddenly grabbed Ciel by his wrists and pinned him on the couch.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with wide horror-filled eyes. Sebastian grinned and began to kiss Ciel's neck.

"Get your hands off me!" Ciel tried to escape his grasp; Sebastian laughed bitterly and placed his foot between Ciel's legs.

"What's wrong, love? You said you love me? Didn't you want this? Sebastian began to unbutton Ciel's shirt.

"No…." Ciel whispered while trying to escape.

"I thought you love me? Didn't you want to be my lover?" Sebastian ran his hand up Ciel's thighs.

"_Please forgive me, Ciel…_" Thought Sebastian

"No, no…" Ciel shook his head, while still trying to escape.

Sebastian smirked and licked Ciel's cheek.

"_Hate me Ciel! Hate me!_" Thought Sebastian.

"Ciel, don't you want me to fuck you?"

"NOOO!" Ciel screamed and kicked Sebastian in the groin. Sebastian felt a huge pain and lost his grip onto Ciel.

Ciel took advantage of this and hurried to the hallway. He grabbed his bag, took his coat, and stormed out the door and ran down the stairs. He quickly got into his car.

Ciel was breathing really heavy, he fumbled with his keys and drove off at the highest speed.

XXX

Sebastian was still lying in the same spot he fell. He heard Ciel drove off.

He smiled sadly. "Fly little angel, fly away from this hell…"

Sebastian stood up and noticed on the floor, the small box Ciel held behind his back. He unpacked it, and saw that it was a small medallion. Tears streamed from Sebastian's eyes as he opened the medallion.

There was a tiny picture inside the medallion. It was a photo they took at Tanaka's place. Sebastian was sitting on the couch, with Ciel on his lap, they were kissing,and Sebastian noticed how happy Ciel looked in the picture.

Sebastian closed the medallion and looked at the engravings on the back of it.

"_I never knew about happiness;_

_I didn't think dreams came true;_

_I couldn't believe in love,_

_Until I finally met you…"_

Sebastian couldn't tell which pain was greater, the pain from his cancer or the pain in his heart.

Sebastian clutched the medallion to his chest and he began to cough and to spit blood. He took out a syrigne with morphine and injected the liquid into his veins. He then curled himself into a ball and sobbed himself to sleep.

"_I'm so sorry Ciel, but it's for your own good…_"

* * *

><p><strong>*Sniff*...Poor Ciel and poor Sebby, OMG! I can't belive I did this to them,I am such a cold-hearted person...XD, gee Things got really shitty here. Oh well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and thank you all for reading my story!:)<strong>

**I will update soon! **

**Much love!**

**~~T0L**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 8**

**Hey Everyone!**

**Wow, gee Otaku was here, it was crazy xD,the first day was apretty shitty day, my boyfriend ignored me the whole dman time..-_- I had a very looong conversation with him afterwards...(you know what I mean)oh well, luckily my best friends were there for me, it was pretty okay, although we were all sweating like pigs due to the lack of space and air. I got Kuroshitusji posters and a wallet with Sebas-chaaaan :3, if anyone will rob me I will make sure he burns in hell for touching my Sebby-wallet X(..:)) I am crazy lol..**

**Okay,enough with what I did, on with the story, last chapter was a very shitty one, this one will be better...**

**Disclaimer:...-_-...it's pretty obvious I don't need to say..**

* * *

><p>It has been already a week since Ciel left Sebastian. He had never seen Ciel at work, or anywhere, Sebastian wanted to call to see how he was, if he was alright, but each time he'd end up at staring at his cell phone. He wanted Ciel to forget him, to live on, to be happy. Sebastian really felt that the whole world was crushing; to be honest he prayed that he'd die soon, so that all the torture and pain would end.<p>

Sebastian sighed and drank his coffee. He hadn't slept all night.

Grell looked at Sebastian wordily. "Sebby, what's wrong?"

Sebastian just stared pointlessly at the music sheet in front of him. "Nothing…it's just that I am tired."

"Well, we should take you to a doctor; you are getting worse and worse each day..."

"Nonsense, I am fine, we should rehearse the song."

"But you haven't finished it, Sebby."

"I don't care, I just feel like singing? Do you have a problem with that?" Sebastian asked tiredly.

"No, I am sorry, let's go and sing..." Grell looked at his friend with sad eyes and helped him up.

Grell walked with Sebastian on the small stage and took their places.

"Are you alright, Sebs, you really look like shit, no offence." Said Undertaker.

"Will you shut your stupid mouth and play the damn song?" Sebastian glared at Undertaker.

"Okay, okay, chill dude…" Undertaker held his hands up in surrender and went behind the drums.

Ran Mao played the small intro at the keys and signaled for Sebastian to start.

"_Things are…"_ Sebastian saw black in front of his eyes and collapsed to the floor.

Luckily Lau was fast enough to catch him.

"Jesus Christ!" Grell placed his guitar down and kneeled near Sebastian.

Sebastian tiredly opened his eyes and grabbed his chest. He spit blood all over his shirt.

"That's it; you are going to the doctor." Grell spat angrily and signaled for Lau to grab him.

"Will you guys stop fussing around and put me down!'" Sebastian tried to escape their hold.

"Sebs, you are sick, you need a doctor!'"Said Undertaker.

"A doctor? Hahaha…A DOCTOR? AS IF A DOCTOR COULD DO SOMETHING FOR ME! "Sebastian yelled.

Grell and Lau looked at him with wide eyes and placed him down.

"It's useless, they won't tell me anything new…" Sebastian hung his head helpless between his knees.

All the members of the band looked at him with sad eyes.

"At least you can go to the hospital to get some morphine, to clam your chest pains..." Suggested Undertaker.

"Alright…" Sebastian nodded and the two men helped him to the car.

Grell stood in the back seat holding Sebastian's head and massaging his temples. Lau was sitting in the front seat and Undertaker in the driver seat.

The car drove off to the hospital.

XXX

Grell and Lau were waiting in the lobby while the doctor was consulting Sebastian.

The doctor finished consulting Sebastian.

"Mr. Sutcliff?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, are you done?" Grell asked.

"Yes, Mr. Michaelis, I would like to have a word with Mr. Sutcliff in private, it won't take long, you can wait in the lobby." The doctor said while looking at Sebastian.

Sebastian nodded weakly and went to the lobby.

XXX

Grell and the doctor entered the office. The doctor shut the door and motioned for Grell to seat in front of the desk. Grell nodded and sat.

The doctor pulled out Sebastian's medical file and sat opposite Grell.

"I suppose you already know…" The doctor said while closing the file.

Grell sighed." How much time does he have?"

"Less than two months…"

Grell's heart stopped at the doctor's words.

"Le-l-less than t-t-two months?" Tears started to appear in Grell's eyes.

The doctor sighed." I am sorry, it's helpless…"

XXX

Sebastian walked in the lobby. He looked at the people who were sitting around and he was shocked to see a certain person on the couch nearby.

Tanaka was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. From what Sebastian could tell he was probably crying.

Sebastian wanted to sit near him, but a part of him said that it is better if he would stay out, after all the whole idea was to stay as far away as possible from Ciel. But that wasn't Sebastian's kind.

Sebastian slowly approached and sat near the old man.

Tanaka raised his head to look at Sebastian. Sebastian smiled sadly to him."Hello, Mr. Tanaka".

Tanaka looked sadly at the rock star." Hello, Sebastian, how are you doing?"

Sebastian sighed." Nothing special…why are you here? What are you doing in the hospital?"

Tanaka felt like more tears were about to make their way down his cheeks as he remembered.

"It's Ciel…."

Sebastian froze. "What happened? Where is Ciel? Is he alright?" Sebastian began to panic.

"No, he's not alright, I don't know what happened, but on Christmas Eve he drove away from your place and had a car accident, I was surprised to see that you didn't come to see him sooner."

Sebastian felt like a dagger stabbed his heart. Ciel had a car accident and he didn't know? He felt so stupid.

"Is he going to be alright?" Asked Sebastian.

"No, he lost his right eye, and he needs surgery at his left leg, otherwise he will die, and the problem is that I don't have enough money for the surgery." Tanaka sobbed into his hands.

"My poor grandson, my sweet little Ciel, why did this happen to him?"

Sebastian felt like bursting into tears too, he knew this was all his fault.

"I am so sorry, Tanaka…I wish I could help…" Sebastian didn't get to finish the sentence because an idea popped into his mind.

"_Hold on a second, I can easily get that money for Ciel, a few concerts plus my new album, it will be enough for him an Tanaka, Ciel sacrificed and did so much for me, this is the least I can do.."_

Sebastian smiled and patted Tanaka's shoulder." Don't worry; I'll get that money for Ciel, I 'l pay for his surgery plus some money for you to go out on a holiday."

Tanaka wiped his tears away. "Thank you, thank you so much Sebastian! May angels be with you."

Sebastian looked sadly at the old man.

"I will have a concert in two days; I will give you half of the money then." Sebastian waved to Tanaka and went to find Grell.

"_I will save Ciel, no matter what..."_

XXX

Fans were screaming and cheering as they waited for the concert to start.

Sebastian was currently behind the stage. He was making sure he looked fresh and that he had no sign of illness. No one except the members of the band and Sebastian's closest persons knew about his illness.

Sebastian lined his eyes with black eyeliner and powdered the dark circles around his eyes.

"Okay, I am ready; we have five minutes, Grell, go and check if my guitar is tuned." Grell looked at his friend with sad eyes.

"You know you can't perform, do you? Your body is weak, Sebby I suggest you cancel the concert, you will collapse on the stage for Christ sake!" Grell shouted.

"Trust me, I won't, I know what I am doing, just check my guitar and I'll be on stage in five."

"If you collapse and I have to take you to the hospital again, it will not be my fault…"With that Grell headed towards the stage.

Sebastian sighed as Grell closed the door. He opened a drawer and took out a small pack with heroin in it.

"I won't be able to do this eh Grell? Well watch, because I will be flaring tonight."

Sebastian sniffed the powder.

"_This is it, there's no going back now, I have to do this_."

With that Sebastian headed to the stage and gave a mind blowing and booming concert.

XXX

After the concert the band went backstage to relax.

"Whoa Sebs, you were amazing, how the hell? Are you healing your cancer and I don't know?" Undertaker laughed and hugged Sebastian.

"Haha, yeah good one, it's just the fact that I want for Ciel to get better, he is the one that gives me power, now where is the money?" Sebastian asked.

"Here it is, the rest of the money will arrive as soon as you will finish that last song!" Lau said while handing the money to Sebastian.

" Yeah, I've finished it, we have to record it and then we can release the album."

"Will we perform it live also?" Asked Grell.

"Well, maybe I don't know for sure, look I am very tired; I want you guys to give this money to Tanaka, make sure Ciel has that surgery."

The members nodded and left the room to grant Sebastian's wish.

"You are a very strong person, Sebastian…" Said Lau before closing the door.

Sebastian smiled sadly and as soon as Lau closed the door he fell onto his knees, his chest tightened again and a throbbing pain stabbed him in the chest. He pulled out the syringe with morphine and headed to the bed; he injected the liquid and waited for its effect. Sleep overwhelmed him and Sebastian fell into deep slumber whispering Ciel's name.

XXX

Sebastian slept for three days and as soon as he got up he called Tanaka to see how Ciel was doing.

"Yes?" Tanaka answered the phone.

"Hello, Mr. Tanaka, it's me Sebastian, did you get the money I send you?"

"Yes, indeed, I received it three days ago." Tanaka replied in a sad voice.

"Well, is Ciel alright?" Sebastian asked.

Tanaka sighed." Ciel refuses to have surgery"

Sebastian's eyes widened at the reply.

"What do you mean he won't have surgery?"

"He refuses to receive money from you; he told me that he will not receive anything from you, not until he speaks face to face to you." Tanaka replied.

Sebastian froze as he heard what Ciel wanted.

"I am afraid I can't visit Ciel, we had a fight, I think that it's the best for him as not to see me, the sooner he forgets about me, the better it will be for him." Sebastian answered.

"Please Sebastian, he will die if he doesn't have that surgery, you said you cared for him!" Tanaka pleaded.

Sebastian felt his heart shatter at the old man's words. "Fine, I will see what I can do, but I don't guarantee things will get better, in which room is he?"

"He is in room you, Sebastian, God bless you!"

Sebastian laughed sarcastically." I am afraid that is impossible." He hung up the phone and took his coat.

Sebastian locked the door to his apartment. He was heading down the stairs when pain flashed through his chest. He spit blood and kneeled at the bottom of the rail.

Sebastian sighed and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He went to his car and hurried to the hospital.

XXX

Sebastian stepped out of the car and entered the hospital. He went to the front desk to make sure in which room Ciel was located.

He got on the elevator. He felt seconds were passing like hours. He got out and headed through the long corridors.

Sebastian looked at one room number 1302. He sighed and went further.

"_What the hell will I tell him_?" Sebastian thought as he walked and glanced at the rooms.

"_Will he listen to me? Why does he want to see me, I thought he hated me…"_

Sebastian stopped at the room number 1307. He took a deep breath and entered the room.

He stepped in and closed the door soundlessly behind him.

He turned around and spotted Ciel. He neared to get a better look at him.

Ciel's right eye was wrapped up, a lot of scars and stitches were present on his face. Sebastian read the pain on his face.

Sebastian looked at Ciel's lips. They were slightly parted, releasing light breaths. Sebastian felt like kissing those lips and to embrace Ciel, making him forget of all the pain.

Sebastian held up the covers and looked at Ciel's left leg. His leg was completely destroyed, bandages were wrapped everywhere, he had a lot of stitches with dried blood on them, his skin was bluish-purple. Sebastian held his hand up to Ciel's leg to caress it.

"D-d-don't you touch me…"

Sebastian dropped the cover and looked up to see Ciel.

Ciel hissed as the cover made contact with his leg and locked eyes with Sebastian.

Sebastian looked sadly at Ciel.

Ciel grinned at him." What's up with the sad face? Aren't you happy? Aren't you happy for what you've done to me? You completely destroyed me! My, my, you are such a great actor, if I didn't know you better I could swear that you look as if you care for me."

Ciel's words really stung Sebastian's heart.

"Why did you want to see me, Ciel?"

Ciel smiled devilishly.

" Hmmm, why indeed, perhaps I just wanted to see if you have the courage to show your face to me, after all you've done to me, as for the money you gave me, you can take it and shove it up your ass, I don't want your money, I don't want anything, I'd rather die than let you touch me again! You bastard! "

Sebastian's eyes widened as Ciel tore the necklace he gave him.

"I was a "special person" eh?"You make me sick! Take it and get the hell out of my sight, I never want to see you again! I hope you die soon, because you know what I am going to do after you die? I am going to come and spit on your grave!" Ciel yelled as he threw the necklace into Sebastian's face.

Sebastian looked at the necklace on the floor. Ciel began to tremble and to laugh nervously as Sebastian picked the necklace and went to exit the room.

"S-s-so, th-that's it? You are not going to make me change my mind? You are just going to leave? Yes, I see how much you cared for me! You disgusting piece of shit! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" Ciel screamed at Sebastian, he trembled while shaking his head, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Ciel almost jumped as he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him. He opened his eyes and saw it was Sebastian who was hugging him. Sebastian was trembling and Ciel heard small sobs escape the man's lips.

Sebastian was crying.

For the first time in all these years that Ciel worked for him, Ciel actually saw him cry. He was always the strongest and invincible rock star, but now, he wasn't a rock star, he was just Sebastian, the man Ciel fell in love with.

"I did this all for you, you know how hard it was to make you hate me, do you know how hard it was not to see you for two weeks, that night when you left, I felt I was literally dying, seeing you cry and made me want to stab myself, I rather die than make you suffer, I love you so much Ciel, that's why I wanted to make you forget about me, I didn't want for you to suffer over my death, I want you to live on, I want you to be happy Ciel…"

Ciel felt his heart shatter to pieces at Sebastian's words. He looked for any sign of lies in his voice, but he found nothing, Sebastian was telling the truth.

"The only thing that can make me happy is you Sebastian…" Ciel whispered while wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian looked up and pressed his lips to Ciel's. Ciel closed his eyes and moved his lips with Sebastian's.

"I love you so much Ciel, I am so sorry…" Said Sebastian as more tears streamed down his cheek.

Ciel's eyes shed tears too. "I love you too…I am sorry, I didn't mean all that, it's just you left me and then the car accident and all the pain, it's too much…"

Sebastian smiled weakly and hugged Ciel. 'Don't worry, I am here now, please Ciel, have the surgery, I can't let you die…"

Ciel returned the hug and both man stood there and cried together.

They soon fell asleep in each other's arms.

XXX

Ciel agreed to have surgery the very next day. The surgery went well and the doctor said Ciel will be able to walk alone in two weeks. When he got out of the hospital, he moved to Sebastian's apartment.

Sebastian ignored his cancer and stood and took care of Ciel. Their relationship got better. Even though they both knew this would end badly, they decided they should spend the rest of the time they had together.

"Promise me that you will not do anything reckless like committing suicide after I will die?"

Ciel looked sadly at Sebastian. "I promise…I love you Sebastian…"

"I love you too, angel" Sebastian kissed Ciel's forehead.

"Sebastian you should rest, you have a big concert tomorrow."

"Fine, good night Ciel and sweet dreams."

Ciel snuggled to Sebastian's chest.

"Good night".

* * *

><p><strong>YAAAAY!THEY ARE TOGETHEEEER:3 Man, I love these two so much, that's why I torture them...geez, I think if Ciel and Sebastian were real,I would probably be dead already:))<strong>

**I will update chapter 9 in like three days or something like that, so that's pretty soon..:) I couldn't stop writing, hope you enjoyed this chapter!:) I love all of you!:*:*:***

**Much love!**

**~~T0L**


	9. Chapter 9

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 9**

**Hey Everyone!**

**Gee, I am having such a shitty time, I am glad that school is almost over, I gave my final termpaper today, FINALLY!-_-**

**I am pretty sick and I am havng a lot of problems,*sighs* oh well, but that didn't stop me from writing!:)**

**Yeah, so to the story, they song I used in this chapter is called "Don't Say Goodbye" by Skillet, yeah I suggest you listen to it when you read that part of the chapter, gives you a better view and all that;)**

**Also this chapter was beta'd by the awsome and amazing Damian Richter, thank you so much once again,here's another big big-pick- you -off-feet-sqeez-you-tight-spin-you-around-makes-your-tummy-sick-but-still-makes-you-giggle hug ^_^*hugs***

**Discla  
><strong>

* * *

><p>XXX<p>

Sebastian stared up at the ceiling. He didn't really want to sleep. He glanced at the clock because in six hours he had to give a big concert to promote his new album. Sebastian wasn't actually in the mood; all he wanted to do was to spend some more time with Ciel.

He sighed and got up just because he had to. Sebastian needed to talk to Grell.

He went into the room with the stage and shook Grell's shoulder.

Grell groaned but still opened his eyes.

"Grell, I need to speak with you." Sebastian said.

"Sebby, is this urgent? We have a concert today; I really need to rest..." Grell mumbled.

"Yes it is, listen to me, I am having a weird feeling... I really need to tell Ciel some things, but I just can't tell him face to face, each time I try to bring up the subject I can't seem to get these things out of my mouth. I don't want to sadden Ciel that is why I want to ask you to do something for me."

Grell stood up and listened to Sebastian very carefully.

"The doctor said that I have less than two months and well that means I can die anytime soon, after I die, Ciel will be hurt I am sure about that, and even if he promised that he wouldn't do anything reckless I just want to make sure he stays strong, after I'm dead I want you to give this to Ciel." Sebastian handed Grell a tape recorder.

Grell took it and stared at Sebastian.

"Just tell him to listen to the tape, I trust you Grell."

Grell smiled sadly at Sebastian. "Of course, you know I would do anything for you, Sebby."

"Thank you, Grell." Sebastian stood up and went back to the bedroom.

XXX

Sebastian plopped on the bed and caressed Ciel's hair.

Ciel moaned softly and turned to face Sebastian, still half asleep.

"Good morning, angel" Sebastian kissed Ciel's forehead tenderly.

"Sebastian, why are you awake? It's still early, you should rest…" Ciel rubbed his healthy eye.

"I will have an Eternity to rest; I want to stay with you as much as it is possible for me." Sebastian hugged Ciel.

"Today's the big concert, eh?"

"Yeah… indeed."

"I heard you will sing your last song, I've never listened to it." Ciel looked up at Sebastian.

"You will listen it tonight and I really hope for you to enjoy it and by the way you'll have a seat in the first row, I want you to see the concert properly and not from backstage."

"Oh, thank you, Sebastian."

"I love you, Ciel"

"I love you too" Ciel kissed Sebastian's lips. The raven-haired closed his eyes while lying on his back, getting Ciel on top of him until he suddenly began trembling and coughing.

Ciel's eyes widened.

"Jesus, Sebastian! Are you alright?" Ciel sat next to him and helped Sebastian up.

"Yeah, I'm fine don't worry." Sebastian smiled weakly and then kissed Ciel's nose.

"You should warm your voice up, you sound kind of hoarse." Suggested the younger.

"It's because of the cancer…" his lover sighed almost sadly.

"W-Well, maybe you should cancel the concert… you are looking very weak at the moments... Sebastian, I honestly don't think you'll be able to pull it up."

"Hey, I am Sebastian Michaelis, what the fuck? If a rock star can't put up a big concert, then where would we be?" Sebastian smirked.

Ciel laughed and helped Sebastian up to the rehearsal room.

XXX

"Michaelis! Ten minutes!"

"I know! I know! Jesus!" Sebastian yelled back at the stage manager.

Sebastian fumbled through all the drawers looking for makeup. He quickly powdered his face and lined his eyes. And then he pulled out the small, precious pack with heroin.

"SHIT!" Sebastian yelled as he spilled half of the white powder that was on the pack directly on the floor.

"Fuck, whatever, this should be enough for tonight." He sniffed the substance and then checked his reflection in the mirror. He could say he'd had better days.

"Two minutes, Michaelis!"

"I am coming! Will you shut the fuck up!" Sebastian grabbed his guitar and made his way up the stage.

All the lights were out and the band began to play the intro of the first song.

Sebastian took a deep breath, went into the spotlight and began to sing the first song of the concert.

XXX

Sebastian went backstage and poured water on his chest and neck, he was sweating like hell. He took a towel and wiped his forehead and then unexpectedly began coughing and feeling dizzy.

"Shit, what the hell?" He sat down and tried to regain control.

"Alright I have one more song and it will be over, then I can be with Ciel again."

"Sebs, are you alright?" Undertaker asked.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

Sebastian took his guitar and went back on the stage.

"How are you doing everyone?" Sebastian screamed into the microphone.

The crowd cheered and whistled.

"I know, I am having a great time myself, but I am afraid that this will be our last song in this concert. It is the first time we are performing this song live, I wrote this song for a very special and close person to me…" Sebastian spotted Ciel in the crowd and winked to him.

"This song was inspired by him, I want to thank him for all what he did to me, Ciel, this for you, I hope you like it."

Ciel slightly blushed as some of the people in the crowd turned to look at him.

Sebastian nodded to Ran Mao and they began to play the song.

Ran Mao played the small intro on her keyboard and Sebastian joined with the first lyrics.

"_Things are changing,_

_It seems strange and_

_I need to figure this out_

_You've got your life,_

_I've got mine,_

_But you're all I cared about,_

_Yesterday we were laughing_

_Today I'm left here asking,_

_Where is__ all the time gone now?_

_I'm left alone somehow,_

_Growing up and getting older,_

_I don't wanna believe its over_."

Undertaker joined in with the drumming at the chorus part.

"_Don't say goodbye,_

_Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight,_

_Cause maybe there's not the end for you and I,_

_And although we knew _

_This time would come for me and you,_

_Don't say anything tonight,_

_If you're gonna say goodbye."_

Fans began to cheer and to whistle. The whole crowd waved their hands in the air to the rhythm of the song.

"_Do you remember?_

_In December,_

_How we swore we never change,_

_Even though you're leaving,_

_our feelings__,_

_Will always stay the same,_

_I wish we could be laughing,_

_Instead I'm standing here asking,_

_Do we have to end this now?_

_Can we make it last somehow?_

_We both know what we got to say, not today_

_Cause I don't wanna leave this way…_"

Sebastian looked up into the crowd and locked eyes with Ciel.

"_Don't say goodbye,_

_Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight,_

_Cause maybe there's not the end for you and I,_

_And although we knew _

_This time would come for me and you,_

_Don't say anything tonight,_

_If you're gonna say goodbye"_

Sebastian felt a great pain in his chest but he tried ignoring it and continued to sing with all he had.

"_And if it's over,_

_It hurts but I'm giving you my word,_

_I hope that you're always, happy like we were,_

_Happy like we were…_"

Ciel felt goose bumps rise up his hands as the song got its most powerful moment.

"_Don't say goodbye,_

_Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight,_

_Cause maybe there's not the end for you and I,_

_And although we knew ,_

_This time would come for me and you,_

_Don't say anything tonight,_

_If you're gonna say goodbye."_

Ciel's eyes began to fill up with tears.

"_Yesterday we were laughing __(if you're gonna say goodbye)_

_Today I'm left here asking ( if you're gonna say goodbye.)_

_And although we knew, this time would come for me and you,_

_Don't say anything tonight,_

_If you're gonna say_

_Goodbye…"_

The song ended and the concert hall was filled with clapping, cheering and whistling.

Sebastian bowed and looked at Ciel. The boy was crying and smiling at the same time, those tears of happiness were utterly beautiful. Ciel slowly clapped his hands and gave him a silent "Thank you."

Sebastian smiled to him but he suddenly felt as if someone was ripping his lungs, he started to panic and turned to look at Ciel.

Ciel noticed and hurried through the crowd to get backstage trying to reach Sebastian. Sebastian ran from the stage leaving everyone confused.

The pain in his chest got greater and greater with every second.

He went downstairs and ran to Ciel. He was gasping and breathing very heavily.

Lau and Grell ran after Sebastian as well.

Ciel finally reached and stood in front of Sebastian.

Sebastian stopped and smiled down to Ciel.

"Sebastian, thank you so much, I love you so much!"

Sebastian tried to regain his breath and whispered. "I love you too…."

Sebastian's eyes suddenly widened as he began to breathe normally.

He grabbed his chest and looked at Ciel.

"Sebastian, are you alright?" Ciel asked wordily.

Grell and Lau stopped right behind Sebastian.

"C-C-Ciel, my pain, it-it it's gone!" Sebastian said.

Ciel's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian smiled widely. "I don't feel any pain, it's gone! My cancer is gone! This is a miracle! Ciel! I am coming back to life, we can be together now! Ciel, I am so hap-…"

And then Sebastian collapsed onto the floor. It was all so sudden.

Lau and Grell gasped and Ciel kneeled and turned Sebastian over.

There was blood gushing from his mouth.

Ciel screamed in horror." HELP! SOMEONE HELP! GET AN AMBULANCE!"

XXX

"Hurry up, move, move!" Yelled one of the doctors that were caring for Sebastian on a stretcher.

"We have to put him to surgery now!" Replied a nurse.

Ciel was running behind the stretcher.

They entered this surgery hall with a big transparent window.

"I suggest you stay here, you'll be in our way if you get closer." Said a doctor.

"Please help him!" Ciel begged desperatly.

Ciel stood and watched the whole scene through the window. Sebastian was connected to several breathing machines.

One of the doctors injected a perfusion in Sebastian's arm. "Alright, we are ready to open him."

Just as the surgery was about to begin, the monitor that was showing Sebastian's heartbeat gave them a straight line. No matter the patient it was of course the worst sign ever.

"He's having a cardiac arrest! We are losing him!" Shouted one of the doctors.

"Prepare the resuscitation!" One of the doctor's grabbed the resuscitation device and placed it on Sebastian's chest.

"Stand back, CLEAR!" the doctor pressed the device and Sebastian's body jumped a little.

The doctor's looked at the monitor but it still showed a straight line.

"Sebastian, please don't die!" Ciel screamed and placed his hand on the window.

"Turn it up to 250! Clear!" The doctor pushed at Sebastian's chest again.

"The pulse is still at zero!" Yelled a nurse.

"Try at 300! Ready and Clear!" And the doctors tried again.

Ciel felt as if his heart was about to burst from his ribcage.

"Sebastian! Please! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! COME TO LIFE! YOU CAN'T SAY GOODBYE NOW!" Ciel yelled.

"We are losing him! Turn it to 360!" The doctor pressed the device to Sebastian's chest again.

"CLEAR!"

There was a complete silence after that. The nurse and the doctors waited to hear any heart beat.

Ciel looked at the monitor.

The line was straight…

The doctor backed away from Sebastian and turned to look softly at Ciel.

Ciel looked horrified at the doctor's sad expression.

"I am sorry…" The man said.

The nurse then came with a notebook and a pen.

The doctor sighed and turned to the her. "Patient named Sebastian Michaelis, biological death at 22:47 pm, cause of death: cardiac arrest, the patient suffered from Metastasis; the patient has been diagnosed with neoplasm…"

Ciel trembled and backed away from the window.

"No, no! NO! NOOOO!" Ciel screeched and fell to his knees, he placed his small hands over his ears; he couldn't listen to the doctor's words.

"S-Sebastian… no, please don't leave me, you can't die!" Ciel's whole body shook as he sobbed into his small hands.

Grell, Lau and Undertaker ran and stopped him from looking through the window.

A nurse was currently writing something the doctor was saying, while another doctor covered Sebastian's body with a white blanket.

The three of them froze at the scene before them. Tears appeared into Grell's eyes. Undertaker and Lau kneeled near Ciel.

"Ciel, you have to get up."

Ciel shook his head as more tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Come, Ciel…" Undertaker helped Ciel standing up and they headed slowly to the exit.

XXX

As soon as they opened the door a bunch of paparazzi, cameramen and reporters surrounded them.

"Ciel! Ciel! Mr. Phantomhive! We heard Michaelis is dead! Is it true? How did he die? What was the cause of death? Mr. Phantomhive! One question please!"

"Sorry, we will not answer any questions." Replied Lau.

Undertaker carried Ciel into his arms. The poor boy was so lost in his thoughts and so dizzy he couldn't walk by himself.

They got into the car and drove away from the crowd.

"Where can we take him?" Undertaker asked.

"Sebastian told me where his grandfather lives, we should take him there." Grell replied.

"Okay…" Undertaker turned on the radio.

"The latest news, the famous rock star Sebastian Michaelis died some minutes ago, the whole world is devastated, rumors say he had cancer…"

Undertaker turned off the radio.

"God damn it! They get to know everything! They won't let this man rest, not even in death! Jesus!"

"I-I want to h-hear one of S-S-Sebastian's songs." Ciel whispered.

Undertaker looked through the mirror and caught on Ciel's face.

"Sure, Ciel." Lau inserted a CD and selected a song. It was Ciel's favorite song, "_Nothing Else Matters_."

"Ciel, Are you alright?" Lau asked.

Ciel didn't answer; he would just stare plainly outside. When the song neared its end, Ciel was already asleep.

The three members of the band looked at the young teen.

"Poor boy, he really did love Sebastian after all…" Undertaker said.

"I wonder how he can be so strong, he's still so young, I hope he will be fine." Replied Lau.

Grell looked outside the car and noticed it was raining.

"Looks like the sky is crying too."

Undertaker and Lau looked at the sky.

"Rest in peace, Sebastian, you deserve it…" Said Grell.

XXX

They arrived at Tanaka's house. Undertaker carried a sleeping Ciel in his arms. They knocked at the door and Tanaka opened almost immediately.

"Oh, you must be the rest of the band."

"Yes, we brought Ciel."

"Yes, of course come in and have a seat, it seems like you need a warm cup of tea you are all soaked and look so tired, please come in."

"Thank you, sir."

Undertaker and Tanaka went to put Ciel to bed.

Grell and Lau sat on the couch and stared at nothingness.

Tanaka and Undertaker joined them.

"Is Sebastian...?" Tanaka asked but didn't really want to finish his inquiry fearing the worse had happened.

Grell nodded slowly.

Tanaka looked sadly into his teacup. "May he rest in peace, he was a good man."

"Indeed, he was." Replied Grell.

"Mr. Tanaka, you should take really good care of Ciel, he is totally devastated." Undertaker said seriously.

"I thank you very much for taking care of him."

"What are we going to do with the funeral? Ciel was always the one who organized everything, but we just can't…" Pointed Lau.

"I will help you with whatever I can do, when will it take place?" Asked Tanaka.

"It is usually three days after the death has taken place, he won't have an autopsy, I am sure Ciel wouldn't have liked that." Replied Undertaker.

'Yes, indeed, well you can stay the night here, and we will deal with this tomorrow." Replied the older of them.

"Thank you, you are a very kind person."

XXX

Each one of them went to bed, each person to a different bedroom, falling asleep at different times, but thinking about the same person.

Sebastian…

* * *

><p><strong>Sebastian:*glares*<strong>

**Ciel:*shakes head***

**Sebastian: You just killed me?x( HOW COULD YOU DO THIS ?HOW COULD YOU?HOW COULD YOU?T_T..**

**Ciel:*pats Sebastian's back* Don't worry Sebastian, I am sure she will suffer a lot because of this chapter, congratulations Tears0fLove, you just managed to get yourself a death sentence...*looks at the amount of readers with torches and pitchforks***

***looks nervously into the crowd*...Okay, I have one more chapter to write and then you can all kill me...T_T...poor Sebastian, OMG! Trust me I have never written something like this before, this was worse the Ciel's death in my first fanfic o_O...I am sorry Sebby!*cries* when I read the chapter once again, my heart felt so heavy...*sigh***

**Well, looks like chapter 10 will be the last one, I can't wait to see what you guys think of this chapter, hopefully I don't die until I finish this fanfic :-s...**

**Reviews are greatly apreciated!:)**

**Much love to all of you!:*:*:*:x:x:x**

**~T0L**


	10. Chapter 10

**The Rock Star-His Secret**

**Chapter 10**

**-Final-**

**Hey Everyone!**

**Guess what?...I'M NOT DEEEAAAD!o.O...wow, that's something new...**

**First of all, thank you for not shooting, stabbing me with a kunai, useing a voodoo doll, writing my name in a death note, cutting me with a ninja sword, then hanging me on a tree by my foot and drawing a big ass Kuroshitsuji-pentagran on my face. ( that was the way I imagined you guys would murder me...heheh^_^)**

**Yes, so this is the final chapter of the "Rock Star-His Secret"**

**This chapter was beta'd by the awsome Damian Richter(Thaaaank youuu!^_^)**

**Disclaimer: Kuroshitusji (c) Yana Toboso**

**Claimer: the rest of the bullshit story (c) to this bitch named Tears0fLove.**

* * *

><p>XXX<p>

It was a cold and rainy day. Paparazzi were surrounding the cemetery because it was Sebastian's funeral today.

The members of the band made sure Sebastian had a decent funeral just far from the reporter's eyes. Sebastian's closest people and musician colleagues were present.

The priest was currently reciting some prayers. There was a dull silence, their eyes were focused on Sebastian's black coffin. The coffin was covered with white roses and raindrops since it had been raining a lot.

Tanaka was holding a black umbrella for Ciel.

Ciel had been devastated these days, He wouldn't want to speak with anyone, he would just sit in his room alone and, eventually, he would come out to eat something. He was as good as a dead person.

The boy wasn't looking at the coffin; he was just staring at the ground and listening to the priest's words.

Four men began to lower Sebastian's coffin into the grave six feet under.

"We therefore commit his body to the ground… Earth to earth..."

Sebastian's coffin reached the ground and the men grabbed their shovels and began throwing dust on Sebastian's coffin.

"Ashes to ashes…"

Ciel closed his eyes as Sebastian's coffin was being buried.

"Dust to dust… in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life…"

Some people left as the four men continued to bury the coffin.

Undertaker looked sadly at the grave and spoke softly to Tanaka. "Mr. Tanaka, thank you for helping us with the funeral, but we have to get going, we have an interview to get into a new band, we won't lose contact with you."

"Of course, my condolences once again." Replied the old man.

"And, take care of Ciel; he will need all the support he can get…"

Tanaka looked at Ciel sadly.

Ciel was standing in front of Sebastian's grave with a single red rose in his hand.

He looked at the tombstone and read "Sebastian Michaelis" over and over again. He knew his lover was going to die but he never imagined it would actually happen this soon, he didn't imagine he would feel so sad, so depressed… And so lonely…

Ciel placed his red rose in the middle of the white ones and with a final glance he walked away in fake resignation.

XXX

Ciel and Tanaka arrived home.

"Ciel dear, I am going to bake something sweet, would you like to eat something sweet?"

Ciel nodded sadly.

"Anything special you would like?" Tanaka asked.

Ciel shook his head and went upstairs to his room.

Tanaka sighed sadly and went to the kitchen.

Just as Tanaka was about to cook, someone rang the doorbell.

Tanaka opened the door and was surprised to see it was Sebastian's vocalist, Grell.

"Hello, Mr. Tanaka, I am here to see Ciel."

Tanaka called for his grandson and guided Grell to the living room. Then the old man went back to the kitchen.

Ciel came downstairs and sat on the couch on the opposite side to the red haired.

They both stared at each other for a couple minutes.

Grell was the first one to break the silence.

"Listen, I never really liked you, I actually hated you because you were just a spoiled and full of himself brat, I never once understood why Sebastian fell in love with YOU, but… you took care of him very well, you were always there for him and you were the only person on this planet who could ever melt his heart. Sebastian died peacefully, and for that I want to thank you because the last months in which he struggled a lot with his illness, you fought together with him, you stood by his side and you made him happy."

Grell took a couple things out of his pocket, a medallion and a tape recorder. He placed them onto the table.

"I can't stay long but I want to tell you this, I've found this medallion into Sebastian's things and figured out it was a present from you and I thought you might want it back... As for the tape, Sebastian made me promise that after he died, you would get to listen to it."

The blue eyed boy looked at the two objects and then back at Grell.

Grell sighed. "Well, I have to go, maybe someday we will meet again, goodbye Ciel, and good luck…"

With that Grell went to the hallway and exited the house.

Ciel heard a car driving off and focused his attention on the two objects again.

He looked to see if Tanaka was in the hallway but there was no sign of him. He slowly reached for the tape recorder.

He studied it a little and then decided to listen to the tape. He pressed the play button…

"_Hello, Ciel…."_

Ciel's heart jumped in his chest as he heard Sebastian's voice on the record.

Sebastian chuckled.

"_I bet I scared you, didn't I? Sorry about that, Ciel, I know what you are going through now and I know that it's because of me, but please Ciel, I want you to stay strong, I want you to get over this. Remember when I was at the hospital and you told me that I shouldn't give up on living and to try to move on and fight against my cancer? Well this is what I am telling you now… I want you to live your life happily, I know that you love me and I know that you miss me, but I will always be there for you, my love…"_

Tears left Ciel's eyes as he continued to listen to Sebastian's voice.

"_You were the best thing that ever happened to me, you were the only one I truly loved and I want to thank you for everything you did for me. I had the time of my life during these last months and that was because of you Ciel… although you can't see me, I will always watch over you and I will always be there for you, just like you did for me; when you feel lonely I want you to listen to my song, the key is not to live forever Ciel, but to create something that will last forever. If you want to find me you just have to do one thing…"_

"W-w-what do I have to do?" Asked Ciel between soft sobs.

"_Just believe. Believe in my song and believe in me Ciel… I will always love you, and I am not that far away from you; when you gave me that medallion with those engravings, when you were away, I always thought of the words written on it…"_

Ciel took the medallion and looked at the engravings on the back of it.

"_Say it with me…"_

Ciel slowly smiled as he whispered at the same time with Sebastian.

"_I never knew about happiness;_

_I didn't think dreams came true;_

_I couldn't believe in love,_

_Until I finally met you…"_

* * *

><p><strong>Awwww...Sebastian always knows how to brace Ciel up..iiii ^_^<strong>

**Yeah, so this was the end of "The Rock Star-His Secret"...sad it ended though... I hope you guys enjoyed this story!:)**

**Btw, I already have in mind a third fanfic with Sebas/Ciel...:)heheh, I will post an author note in the next days telling you the title and something about it;) until then it's a surprise hehehe, I am evil..xD**

**Let's hope no one will die in that fanfic, only if necessary...:))**

**Now to the thank yous... Thank you to everyone who read my story and to those who reviewed! I tried to answer all the reviews, I apologise if I skipped any.**

**I hope you guys will enjoy my next fanfic too:)**

**Really, only this fanifc made my life better this days, my boyfriend broke up with me,and I'm pretty depressed, oh well *sigh* I will get over it, what can I do?:(**

**But you guys are amazing!I love you all very much!:x:x:x**

**I will post the author note asap!:)**

**~~T0L**


	11. Author Note,Please read!:

Hey Everyone!

So, last days I finished my 2nd fanfic called "The Rock Star-His Secret". I am sad it ended though, I really enjoyed writing it .

My inspiration for this story was my best friend. We've known each other for 9 years and we will be friends for life, I am sure about that. I've always been like her Sebastian, Sebastian in this story has also a bit of my personality, I am a crazy rock freak and to my shame I smoke too…and I know how it's going to end, *sigh* I will quit smoking some day, no worries.

My friend is exactly Ciel ^_^ and one day I was listening to Metallica and I was thinking about her, and then it was also my obsession with Kuroshitsuji(really obsessed..lol)…BAM! I wrote this fanifc!:D

So, this is kind of how the idea of "The Rock Star-His Secret" was born...lol.

Now, a HUUUUGE thank you to all of you who read my story and also another HUUUGE thank you to those who reviewed. Believe me; your reviews are like heaven to my eyes. You can't imagine how happy I am when people review my story. I really like to see what people think of it .

Now, to those who read my first fanfic called "The Little Pianist", I want you to tell me, which one did you like the most? And to those who didn't read it, I would like to know what you enjoyed about "The Rock Star- His Secret", and what you didn't like(although I pretty much know the answer to this question…lol)Also, if you wish for something to appear into my fanfics and to make the story better, I am open to suggestions..;)

Okay, now to my 3rd *clears throat*,I have a few weeks until I finish school, and there's plenty of shit going on, so I think I will post the first chapter at the beginning of the summer vacation, until then I don't think I will be posting something, I really need a break to rest, I finished the 1st fanfic, then started the 2nd, I am pretty tired…but no worries school will be over soon and I will have a lot more free time to write and to rest..geez.

My 3rd story will be a Sebas/Ciel fanfic(obviously...) and the title is "Black Ballet"…*epic dramatic music*…theheh, you can have an image about the main idea. I have to warn you, it will be very dark, a lot of violence, adult themes, strong language, yaoi meaning boyxboy,so yeah, fasten your seatbelts…lol. I don't recommend it for those under 17it might mark you(even though I'm 15 and I'm the writer…o.O..)

I can't wait to start my new fanfic, and I can't wait to hear more from you guys! You are amazing and I love each and one of you!:*:*:*:x:x:x

Yep, so that was pretty much what I wanted to tell you guys;)

Much love to all of you!

~T0L


	12. Author's Note: You have to read this

I am not sure if someone is reading this...but whatever, I'll give it a try...

Hey Everyone!:)

Freaking school is finally oveeer, damn it, I felt like it would never end,lol.

Yep, so this is my second author note to „The Rock Star-His Secret", guess what?You are going to hear more from it. My fanfic will actually become a musicaaaal!:D Bet you didn't see that coming did ya?:))

I am working on it together with one of my closest friends, she is a great pianist. I told her about this fanfiction thing and she wanted to read my stories, so she bumped into „The Rock Star-His Secret" and she really enjoyed it, of course she called me a murdered and an evil person( the usuall stuff I read in reviews...) and she had the ideea of turning it into a musical* throws confetti*.

It's basicly my fanfic re-written as a play and with like 10 songs in it, minus the sex scenes...( I know,right, the best part is missing...-_-..:))). She is the one who usually writes the lyrics and I'm the one composing the music, but we also switch places, and I get to write lyrics too, we are doing it together, and I'm not sure if it's really going to play into a theatre or something, first we have to finish it and we'll see how it turns out, until now, we have like two or three songs finished.

The main song of the musical is called „Don't Go"(duet with Ciel and Sebby;)).

Yeah, I have a very busy summer, I am working on the musical, and writing on my 3rd fanfic and also writing my first book.( yeah, a lot of writing.)

If anyone is interested in this musical or in anything listed above( lol, that sounded like a stupid commercial...=))) send me a message/review/email...or whatever thing you wish to send.

If some of you guys want to see some lyrics or thing like that, I am not sure where I can post any of these, cause I am not sure it's okay to post them on fanfiction in an author note...I don't know...I am open to suggestions!:D

Much love to all of you!:x:x:x

~~T0L


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